tia lencha’s cocina

Hola, is Tia Lencha here, in my kishen making tacos for the teashers at Mijo’s eschool.

The teashers are having a estrike becoz they want all the niños (thas kids for you pochos) no to be like sardines in the classrooms. Mijo says there are 40 estudens in his class! How can the teasher pay attenshun to so many niños? I can barely pay attenshun to Mijo when my favorite novela is on the televishun.

Mijo is helping me make the tacos for the teashers. He believes in la causa of the estrike. He says is no about the money only for teashers. Even though they get pay caca, those teashers. I always buy them giff cards for Targuess or Estarbus for all the holidays, so they can buy a relaxing candle or sone coffee. I dunno why, but teashers like coffee so much! [Mas…]

tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it. [Mas…]

muertosaltarHola! Is Tia Lencha here! I haf big news! I move to Los Angeles in the California! And I find a novio! Can ju believe?

Is a new life here. My novio and I met on the Google when I live in New Jork. Then he visit from Los Angeles and I visit from New Jork and now I live in Los Angeles. He make me micheladas and likes walking romatical to the taco trucks. Tia Lencha has little hearts in her eyes.

Okay, but I can’t leave my pochos without some advice. One pocho ask me, how ju build an altar for Día de los Muertos? I tell ju how!

I make an altar for my old life with mijo’s daddy in New Jork as a sample, okey?

We make Mijo’s Daddy Day of the Dead altar: [Mas…]

Happy Day of the Dead! Is Tia Lencha here. Many people ask me questions about Dia de Los Muertos. I answer the questions today.

Question numero one: Tia Lencha wass this Dia de los Muertos? Is it the Mexican Halloween?
Gwell, kind of, I say. Except that the Day of the Dead celebrations come from the indigenous pagan rituals that trace back 2,500 to 3,000 years ago. Way before Duane Reade sold Halloween candy.

Question numero two: Tia Lencha, wassup with the calaveras (“skulls” for you pochos)?
Bueno, before Jesus came along, people used to keep skulls of their loved ones (and maybe not so loved ones) as trophies. They showed off the skulls during the rituals as symbols of death and rebirth. Kind of heavy, no? I never say my history was all tequila shots and tacos.

Also, calaveras can be short poems, like epitaphs like to mock your friends. Like you can make fun of them on their tombstones. Like for mijo’s daddy, I wrote a calavera about him call “Oscar Meyer” because he like to stick his weenie ebrywhere! He no think it was so funny. [Mas…]

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I going to help you make my new faborite taco. The other day I saw my mijo making sonething in the kishen. I so proud. He like to cook like his mama.

I say, “Mijo, what you making?”

He say, “A taco.”

I see that he was using corn tortillas, crumble Oaxaca cheese, scramble eggs, salsa chipotle, and potato ships. I was confuse. [Mas…]

tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo on Thursday. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it. [Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: On Father’s Day I think about my ex’s chorizo

by TIA LENCHA June 15, 2015 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: On Father’s Day I think about my ex’s chorizo

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. After many jears of being divorce from mijo’s daddy, (that’s a photo of him leaving I took for the lawyer), I share with ju the recipe I make for the Father’s Day, which is on Sunday. When I think of mijo’s daddy, I think of chorizo. Oso, when I see […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Fruity Virgin Micheladas for Cinco de Mayo

by Celina Martinez April 29, 2015 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Fruity Virgin Micheladas for Cinco de Mayo

Hola! Is Tia Lencha here. I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo — next week. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos! I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mijo makes for me a ‘Hipster Taco’

by TIA LENCHA April 1, 2015 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mijo makes for me a ‘Hipster Taco’

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I going to help you make my new faborite taco. The other day I saw my mijo making sonething in the kishen. I so proud. He like to cook like his mama. I say, “Mijo, what you making?” He say, “A taco.” I see that he was using corn […]

[Mas…]

How do you clean nopales? And how does Tia Lencha cook them?

by JEFE BOYARDEE March 24, 2015 Cultura
Thumbnail image for How do you clean nopales?  And how does Tia Lencha cook them?

Ani from Confessions of a Foodie (@afotogirl on the Twitter) demonstrates the best way to clean nopales. But what then? How do you cook nopales? Our Tia Lencha has the answer:

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

by TIA LENCHA November 25, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad. Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

by TIA LENCHA September 16, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

Happy Mexican Independence Day Weekend! Is Tia Lencha here. Today we make a salsa that is the colors of the Mexican bandera (flag for you pochos). Tia Lencha is all dress in her green, white, and red to celebrate El Grito, but all of her pocho and gringo friends is a little confuse. They are […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup

by TIA LENCHA July 9, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup

Hello. Is Tia Lencha here. I haves the World Cup feber. Do ju? Is the feber ju get from watching the World Cups and being so mad at the referees and Holland and wonder who put brujeria on Brazil, that ju want to hit the telebision with a cuchara from the kishen. But I watch […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Valentine’s Day Hot Salsa Blind Tasting Test

by TIA LENCHA February 10, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Valentine’s Day Hot Salsa Blind Tasting Test

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Happy Valemtines Day! I haf the perfect parry idea. What is red and espicy and uses a blindfold? Get jur mind out of the basura (thas trash for you pochos.) Is the Valentimes Hot Sauce Taste Test. This is one test that is fun to estudy for! What is it? […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

by TIA LENCHA November 25, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad. Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos

by TIA LENCHA November 1, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos

Happy Day of the Dead! Is Tia Lencha here. Many people ask me questions about Dia de Los Muertos. I answer the questions today. Question numero one: Tia Lencha wass this Dia de los Muertos? Is it the Mexican Halloween? Gwell, kind of, I say. Except that the Day of the Dead celebrations come from […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Hipster Taco

by TIA LENCHA March 31, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Hipster Taco

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I going to help you make my new faborite taco. The other day I saw my mijo making sonething in the kishen. I so proud. He like to cook like his mama. I say, “Mijo, what you making?” He say, “A taco.” I see that he was using corn […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

by TIA LENCHA February 13, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day. M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

by TIA LENCHA September 16, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

Happy Day of the Mexican Independence! Is Tia Lencha here. Today we make a salsa that is the colors of the Mexican bandera (flag for you pochos). Tia Lencha is all dress in her green, white, and red to celebrate El Grito, but all of her pocho and gringo friends is a little confuse. They […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English

by TIA LENCHA July 11, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I give you the recipe for Rajas con Crema. This was inspire by a trip to the store that sells Mexican things like dancing papier mâché skeletons, Frida Kahlo key chains, overpriced things for the wall. You know, is like Mexican Disneyland. I went in looking for a rebozo […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: History and margaritas for Cinco de Mayo (video)

by POTEMQUIN ESTEPS May 4, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Tia Lencha’s Cocina: History and margaritas for Cinco de Mayo (video)

Your favorite tia, Tia Lencha, makes margaritas and offers a side order of history lessons in this special Cinco de Mayo video, her first. Tia is assisted by her son, Mysterious E. There’s more Tia Lencha below:

[Mas…]