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chitpotlebillboardunclechipotle(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Felipe Alvarez, 67, bit his tongue Tuesday afternoon.

The North Sacramento resident bit his tongue when his godson Tommy Alvarez (no relation) handed him a gold-foil-wrapped burrito from the trendy Chipotle Mexican Grill on Truxel Road. The metal-wrapped mystery meal, however, never made it to his mouth.

Don Felipe (photo) could not quite bring himself to bite the “burrito.”

“Que tiene adentro?” he asked Tommy, afraid of the answer.

A California resident for 20 years, Felipe was accustomed to the so-called “California burrito” – refried beans, “Spanish” rice, processed cheese, some wicked salsa, and maybe even French fries. “I’m a modern man y bastante liberal,” he told PNS.

The aroma of this burrito, however, was entirely unfamiliar. [Mas…]

gordobaby400BURNS: Smithers! The Latinos! With the demographics! And the babies! Quick, we need Latino baby food! It’s a goldmine of a wagon de band upon which we must to hop!

SMITHERS: But, Mr. Burns? Latino baby food? WTF? For God’s sake, man, we already have Clorox Latino. When will the madness end?

BURNS: It’s already happening, Smithers, and I just read on Fox Latino that “one of the concerns that Hispanic mothers have is losing touch with their culture and their culinary roots.” Cashing in on concerns is the capitalist way, Smithers. Release the perros!

What are these trendy Latino baby food items anyhow? We’ve got the deets on the Pocho Ocho: [Mas…]

Adidas and fashion designer Jeremy Scott honored the nation’s Juneteenth holiday today by releasing the new JS Shackles sneakers, which feature orange plastic cuffs, evoking the très à la mode suffering of black slaves in 19th Century America.

Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day or Emancipation Day, honors African-American  heritage by commemorating the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Texas in 1865.

Adidas’ celebratory post on Facebook went up with the question: “Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?” Many FB users commented that the shoes as “slave wear” and asking why anyone would want to voluntarily wear shackles. [Mas…]

Austin hipsters (photo by NewsTaco)

First off, you may be asking yourself, “What is a hipster?”

Hipsters are the contemporary derivative of beatniks and manifest particular philosophies, fashion and food choices, professional and geographic preferences and, inevitably, are the butt of many jokes.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool. [Mas…]