turkey

Happy Rosh HaShanah from the Jews of Tijuana! Happy 5776! (video)

by

tijuanaMexico, like the United Estates, is a “nation of immigrants.”

In the 1900s, Tijuana welcomed Jewish refugees fleeing wars, hate and poverty in Europe, Asia and the Mideast.

Tijuana Jews, the story of the extended Artenstein family, has become a POCHO Rosh HaShanah (New Year) tradition ever since we noticed rosh-ha-shanah rhymes with Tijuana.

The Jewish year 5776 begins at sundown Sunday, September 13. We wish all who celebrate a happy, healthy, peaceful, loving, prosperous, and sweet New Year. In Ladino — the hybrid Spanish-Hebrew language Jews spoke in Andaluz before the Inquisition — that’s ANYADA BUENA I DULSE!

Mas…Happy Rosh HaShanah from the Jews of Tijuana! Happy 5776! (video)

Video: Best (and longest) death scene ever in the history of cinema?

by

karategirlNow that poor Turkey, the sick man of Europe, is under the control of an egomaniacal historically ignorant Ottoman wannabe, it’s comforting to look back on the glory days of Turkish cinema with 1974’s Karate Girl.

We love Karate Girl’s film making genius since we discovered this excerpt — the “best death scene ever”:

Mas…Video: Best (and longest) death scene ever in the history of cinema?

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

by

turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

Pocho Ocho little-known factoids about the first Thanksgiving

by

See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really delivery from Uber Eats

Mas…Pocho Ocho little-known factoids about the first Thanksgiving

Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

by

firstturkey900See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?

We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell

Mas…Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

by

turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants

by

Do you have trouble growing a big bigote?

Are you follicle-challenged in the upper liply region?

Are you the lone bare-faced boy in a room of full of hirsute hombres?

Let’s talk turkey, carnal.

We mean Turkey with capital T that rhymes with “pee.” OK, maybe that’s a bad example.  But Turkey, the sick man of Europe, may have the ‘stache you’ve been looking for.

The Wall Street Journal reports:

Mas…Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants

A chemistry geeks’ guide to Thanksgiving food chemistry (video)

by


Why do we eat mashed potatoes and not mashed paper towels? How does that turkey pop-up timer work? Belches? Farts? Join students at the Catholic University of America for this short lecture by Professor Diane Bunce. The 24-minute video is called Thanksgiving and Chemistry: What’s the connection?

Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving

by

See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Fieri’s Tipi

Mas…Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Turkey al pastor tacos for Thanksgiving Day

by

Happy Mexican Thanksgiving Day!

Is Tia Lencha here. Gwhat is Mexican Thanksgiving Day you ask? Is Thanksgiving but with all Mexican food. What?!?! My gringo frends say. Oh no! How you can do that! Is crazy! And Tia Lencha say, no really.

When I help mijo with his homeworks, I learn that Thanksgiving come from a Puritan holiday in Englands. When it was the Reformation the Protestantes wanted to throw away all the Catholic holidays, even Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

Gwell, I no happy with that. (I think the Indios here in this country oso no happy with the Puritans who bring disease and then take their land–I just saying.) Anyways, Thanksgiving oso is part of a festival of the harvest and for to celebrate special blessings. So to celebrate when the al pastor taco was invent and oso that the Mexican peoples were the first ones to make the turkey domesticate, I make the turkey al pastor taco.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Turkey al pastor tacos for Thanksgiving Day