(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Leading Catholic personalities gathered here this week to address a simmering controversy in the official Divine Advent & Manifestation Union (DAMU): members claim that La Virgen de Guadalupe (photo, center) is a publicity hog when it comes to miraculous appearances.
“Can’t the Son of God just miraculously appear on a slice of toast without someone copying me?” asked Jesus Christ (photo, right). “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for faith and everything, but she goes out of her way to appear on everything! Am I right, people?”
Another virgin in attendance, rarely-seen La Virgen de San Juan (photo, left), said that although she’s “totally cool” with being a lesser-known virgin, she will never be able to grow her Twitter following or sell more CDs when Guadalupe is always “hogging the spotlight.”
“The union has rules for a reason, so everyone has a chance at appearing on tortillas or an oil stain,” San Juan told PNS. “I don’t expect to be number one — I mean, c’mon, we’re talking about the Mother of God here — but I do expect my fair share.” [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Friends and neighbors of Daniel Cardenas are frantically texting each other this morning after his ex-girlfriend Flora Moreno noticed the 28-year-old regional insurance manager didn’t share a new TGIF meme on his Facebook, something he had done weekly since 2010.
“He’s usually reliable as clockwork,” Moreno noted in a group chat. “He posts something cynical about the work week on Mondays, taco memes on Tuesdays, ‘hump day’ jokes on Wednesdays, some retro shit on Throwback Thursdays, and every Friday, a new Thank God It’s Friday pic.”
The fact that Thursday’s #TBT cover photo (above) remained on Cardenas’ FB wall as of 6 AM PDT Friday morning scared her, she said. [Mas…]
We don’t know who created this image — do you? Was it the TACO NAZI?
[This “found object” was uncovered and shared on the Twitter Saturday by author Cory Doctorow.]
BONUS VIDEO! Seinfeld Soup Nazi supercut: [Mas…]
Very late Wednesday night, I created a Twitter hashtag — #MakeMoviesMexican — and asked the Tuiteros if they had suggestions.
Huh? What do you mean? Like this:
#MAKEMOVIESMEXICAN. Gone With the Migra. White Men Can’t Cumbia. Get the idea?
(It turns out I wasn’t the first with this idea. Superstar pocho comic Felipe Esparza tried this concept in February.)
Here are the Pocho Ocho NEW Top Tweets we got in return (racist, ignorant Tweets not included — the entire thread is below.):
8. Mex In The City
7. Dude, Juarez My Car?
6. Finding Chapo
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”
“I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”
Friends and family at the Covarrubias’ weekly carne asada were aghast. Some reconsidered whether they’d be driving back to El Sereno next week, multiple witness reported. [Mas…]
Film producer Ross Putman’s new Twitter feed @FemScriptIntros shares the lines from film scripts where female characters are introduced. To protect the innocent(?), Putman has changed all their names to JANE. The excerpts speak volumes about how “The Industry” thinks about women. Unlike all the women, it’s not a pretty picture.
Here is his Twitter feed in real time: [Mas…]