veladoras [Mas…]

hipstertrapIn New Jack City, proactive pranksters have set Hipster Traps to snare unwary hipsters. The NYC traps are baited with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, American Spirit cigarettes, a bike chain and neon-pink Wayfarer sunglasses.

When trapping chipsters (Chicano hipsters), our experts recommend these Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Bait Your Chipster Trap:

8. Suavecito® Pomade and Beard Wax

7. Venti horchata latte, half skim, half leche de cabra, with agave sweetener

6. $60 huaraches from Urban Outfitters [Mas…]

cruzcandleHail, Senator, full of crap. Special art thou among pendejos.

Photo via imgur.

On New Year, don’t curse the darkness, homies. Instead, light up a candle with the images of Saint Christopher Walken and/or Saint Miley Cyrus of Twerk.

The Saint Nicholas Cage matched pair is perfect for the Christmas season we think: [Mas…]

popowarriorHere is a listicle partially inspired by a mas longer listicle on BuzzFeed, because they are the listicle professionals, tu sabes.

¡Mira! The Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican household/family:

8. Virgen de Guadalupe veladoras.

7. Your first introduction to dramatic acting was a telenovela.

6. You always wondered why gringos celebrated Cinco de Mayo more than your family.

5. You can recognize the Aztec princess Iztaccihuatl AND the warrior Popocateptl (photo) on sight. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MIAMI) The imminent crash – later this week – of a Russian space probe scares local spiritual gurus and national experts alike. All of them fear that the death dive of the Russki rocket is a Cosmic Warning of the Mayan Doomsday, scheduled for Dec. 21. Their big brains, however, are split on ways to prevent the Beginning of the End.

“Oh it’s easy,”  one local specialist told PNS. “Just burn the candles.” Futurologist Pat Robertson’s advice is just one word: “Run!”

Russians espace commissars have predicted that fragments from the failed Phobos-Ground probe are expected to fall to Earth around Jan. 15.

What can an ordinary person do?

“Candles, definitely lots of candles,” said S.W. 46th St. curandero Alejandro “La Luz de Jesus” Sosa. [Mas…]