washington

lobbyistswriteabill [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.

If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.

“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.” [Mas…]

cucawashington

whitesboroIt started long before sportsball team names and mascots. America’s been hatin’ on NDNs ever since they were “discovered” in 1492.

Indian Country Today Media Network’s Christina Rose reports: [Mas…]

How A Bill Becomes A Law CartoonLast week, the Republican-uncontrolled House of Representatives failed to pass a minimal spending bill to help with the unexpected crush of Central American refugees, adjourned, and then reconvened to approve a mean-spirited barebones measure that also would reverse President Obama’s DACA relief for DREAMers, and worse. Then they adjourned again.

Of course the bill has no chance of passage in the Senate, let alone getting a Presidential signature.

Their obstructionist mission accomplished, the do-nothing pendejos left town for their summer hideouts in the rich white safety of their home districts.

Their Tea Party-twisted debates, however, left a lingering aroma over Capitol Hill, and it wasn’t Laspang Souchong.

 

SPOILER ALERT: The aroma was SHIT.

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U.S. sends kids to war, then ignores them when they return (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA June 26, 2014 Cartoons
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U.S. Supreme Court votes 5-4 to change that thing, irregardless

by Pocho Ñews Service January 16, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The United States Supreme Court has voted 5-4 to change that appeal thing some lower courts were dealing with earlier (you know, back and forth and shit?) no matter que chingados the people think. POCHO will share more details as the situation develops here in Our Nation’s Capital.

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WTF Whopper: Mexicans have it your guey – at Burger King (photo,video)

by Lucida Grandé November 15, 2013 El Now
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Need a job? Live near Ephrata, Washington? Burger King has openings for people like you! Huh? Whopper the fries is going on here? MSN Money reports: Burger King has apologized after a photo of a billboard at one of its locations went viral. The photo shows a Burger King billboard in Ephrata, Wash., that reads: […]

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Breaking: GOP blames unidentified suspect for shutdown

by Lalo Alcaraz October 1, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The GOP knows who to blame for today’s partial Federal government shutdown. “An unidentified black man came along out of nowhere, drew a gun and demanded that Republicans shut down the government,” according to Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH).

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Breaking: Obama says U.S. will bomb Twerky

by Lalo Alcaraz August 30, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Barack Obama has abruptly dismissed the possibility of launching a U.S. military action against Syria and opted for another world trouble spot. “I am making preparations to bomb Twerky,” the President declared in a nationally-televised speech Friday afternoon. “It is clear that Syria has used banned chemical weapons against its […]

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Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

by EDUARDO BURRO May 1, 2013 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital. If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by […]

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Pocho Ocho lesser-known effects of the Federal budget ‘sequester’

by ERMA GERD March 13, 2013 El Now
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The “sequester” has already forced the release from detention of some accused undocumented immigrants. Now the budget cutbacks have started affecting  other aspects of American government. Here are eight addtional changes you can expect: 8. The CIA will only poison leftist leaders with cancer on alternate Wednesdays 7. Government procurement contracts now cap toilet seats prices […]

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Breaking Ñews: Former Microsoft employee Clippy comes out

by Comic Saenz March 8, 2013 El Now
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THIS JUST IN: (PNS reporting from REDMOND, WA) Former Microsoft Office Assistant Clippy, fired after a controversial career just trying to help some people out for crissake, will come out as gay in a forthcoming tell-all autobiography, PNS has learned. The book, tentatively titled ☑ Don’t Ask Me Again, details Clippy’s crush on icon rival Happy Mac […]

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Sequester-released immigrants head to D.C. to fix the budget

by María Purísima March 1, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Scores of immigrants released due to sequester-forced budget cuts are headed to the nation’s capital to fill gaps in the labor pool, PNS has learned. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) began releasing low priority immigrants from detention centers in New Jersey, Louisiana, California, Texas and Florida earlier this week. After the immigrants were […]

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Did you miss the Inauguration? We’ve got the video!

by Comic Saenz January 25, 2013 El Now
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From Pres. Barack Obama’s Second Inaugural Address: “Your baby cousin likes me because I’m more normal and have a smooshy finger? No!” RELATED: Pocho Ocho zingers dropped from Obama’s Inaugural Address

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