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What are America’s Pocho Ocho Top Brownest Jobs?

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whitejobsfThe Atlantic analyzed the stats and guess what!? Some professions in the United Estates are positively teeming with white people — jobs like veterinarian, espeech sangwich pathologist and meelrye (chart excerpt, above).

Hurm, we said, perhaps we can fabricate a similar list of America’s brownest jobs.

“So let it be written, so let it be done!” said Pharoah, another white dude. And we did. Here’s our list of America’s Pocho Ocho Top Brownest Jobs:

8. Piñata Fluffer

7. Chief Cleavage Officer for Spanish Language TV Network News Division

6. Tia Guadalupe Gutierrez Santa Maria de Los Angeles y Zacatecas

Mas…What are America’s Pocho Ocho Top Brownest Jobs?

Watch: Mexican fashionistas demo what the cool kids will wear in 2035

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The students at Mexico City’s Instituto de Estudios Superiores de Moda de Casa de Francia designed and produced 20 “intelligent” pieces of clothing for your fashion-forward future. Twenty years from now, we’ll all be wearing black and white poofy mexi-burkas with built-in virtual reality. SPOILER: All the extra-cool kids will have gray hair, 3D printers and electric shoes.

White Americans are biased against blacks, and some more than others

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biasmapMost white Americans are biased against blacks, but it differs across the country. In this map, the redder the state, the higher the hate. Michigan, in gray, is in middle, bias-wise, and the bluer states are less biased than Michigan.

There’s some tricky methodology involved, and there may be some “selection bias,” but if anything, the survey results may underestimate the prejudice.

Here’s The Washington Post Wonk Blog report:

Mas…White Americans are biased against blacks, and some more than others

Hate Letter of the Day: Dear Lala, you racist hypocrite

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weirdal

Mexicans and Anglo Americans are exactly alike. You are just as racist Mejicanoh, oh wait, I mean, Chicano… Meixcan American… I forget, you don’t consider yourselves Mexican… or do you. You MeCHA Aztlanersss get me all confused. Or wait, you don’t consider yourselves Latino but rather.. MESSICAN!

ANYWAYS… so, as I was saying, you share the same RACIST views, in fact, you’re no different than right wing Caucasian Americans, whom at least are upfront about their racism and xenophobia, you’re more aligned with Liberal Democrats whom subversively are racist.

Mas...Hate Letter of the Day: Dear Lala, you racist hypocrite

Um, excuse me…we prefer to be called ‘white folk’ (photo)

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crackersbigWe can’t track the original of this photo to give its creator props, so we’ll just heartily thank all Internet-enabled photographers, wherever they are. And whatever they want to be called, tambien. After all, what’s in a name?

PREVIOUSLY ON WHITE PEOPLE:

iNotRacist: Social media app keeps track of your non-racism (video)

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You’re not a racist. You open doors for African-Americans, you talk with the Latino guy behind the counter at lunch and you even make friends with that Asian guy at work, the crazy weird one on the fifth floor. But wouldn’t it be cool if you could get credit for all your non-racist activities? Check out iNotRacist — available soon for your iPhone.

Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can lure back young voters

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It’s no secret: The Grand Old Party needs some new blood.

If the Republican Party, formerly the “Party of Lincoln,” is to succeed nationally, it needs more women, “minorities,” and younger voters. Old angry reactionary white people is not a growing constituency.

Here are Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can bring more young voters aboard:

8. Refer to them as “whippersnappers”

7. Say “dang-fangled” as much as possible

6. Promise 72 virgins to new party members

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can lure back young voters

Breaking: San Diego firm offers Thailand plastic surgery tours

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(PNS reporting from SAN DIEGO) Horton District travel agency Mad Mad World Tours is now offering a new cosmetic surgery/tour package featuring makeovers in beautiful Thailand, the company announced today.

The tours, organized in partnership with the Bod Thai Clinic of Bangkok, Thailand, promise an all-expenses-paid two-week luxury trip to the southeast Asian country and a procedure called a frental nopalectomy. The forehead surgery promotion targets upscale Mexican-Americans.

Mas…Breaking: San Diego firm offers Thailand plastic surgery tours

PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

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(PNS reporting from LONDON) Downton Abbey executive producer Gareth Neame said today that newcomer Gary Coleman’s addition to the British show “will bring interesting twists to the drama.” The cute-as-a-button actor has most recently been seen in various American sitcoms and reality programs.

His Downton character, Arnold Jackson, is described as “a charming and charismatic” young man. The long-awaited addition marks the first time Downton has had an adorable black character.

Mas…PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

Hey, honky! The origin of the world’s most heinous racial slur

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POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz‘s recent article about the word gringo ignited a shitstorm of debate. White people came out of the woodwork to declare how they’ve been traumatized all these years because of it.

This got me thinking about racial slurs and how we use them in these oh-so-modern times. Rand Paul used the term chili-choking pepper bellies the other day when he was talking about immigration reform. What’s the gringo equivalent of a chili-choking pepper belly? Twinky-gagging sugar gut? Sounds stupid, right?

“You cornbread-gobbling butter stomach!”

Mas…Hey, honky! The origin of the world’s most heinous racial slur

Sandra Ramos O’Briant – ‘Chile Tales: The Green Addiction’

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Philosophers have often looked for the defining feature of humans — language, rationality, culture and so on. I’d stick with this: Man is the only animal that likes Tabasco sauce.

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In Texas, when my parents were still married, we ate fried chicken, mashed potatoes laden with cream gravy, green beans flavored with bits of bacon and buttery light biscuits. Every item on the menu had its own serving dish, and cloth napkins were always used.

“May I have another biscuit, ma’am?” I would say.

“You surely may, Sandra Mae,” my daddy’s mama would reply and everyone would smile. Or we’d have fried pork chops and suck on the salty bones, but only when it was just my mama and me at the dinner table.

In Texas, there were black-eyed peas and ham and all manner of greens and put-up preserves. There was watermelon and homemade ice cream from the hand-crank ice-cream maker. Daddy held a bourbon and water in one hand, and turned the handle with the other, while Mama and my daddy’s mama drank iced tea on the back porch and exchanged polite insults. My grandma didn’t like it that Daddy had married a Mexican.

Mas…Sandra Ramos O’Briant – ‘Chile Tales: The Green Addiction’

GOP to spend $10 million further alienating minorities

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Reeling from back-to-back presidential losses and struggling to cope with the country’s changing racial and ethnic makeup, the Republican National Committee plans to spend $10 million this year to send hundreds of party workers in white sheets into Hispanic communities to promote its brand.

With Operation Wetback 2016, the committee hopes putting a fresh face on the same old racism will help them net more Hispanic voters.

“Hispanics are so lazy and slow-witted that they won’t be able to do the deep investigation required to see that our effort is a complete and utter sham,” GOP committee head Reince Priebus declared on Meet the Press. “We won’t change any of our hateful and xenophobic policies, but we will definitely alter our marketing pitches to this unambitious, burrito-brained demographic.”

Mas…GOP to spend $10 million further alienating minorities

Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers

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(PNS reporting from FRESNO) Latino farmworkers say Dodge’s American Farmer Super Bowl commercial is a bunch of manure, according to Claude Rhodappel, spokesman for the Minority Organization for Farmworkers and Obreros (MOFO).

The commercial, directed by filmmaker Ken Burns, used crisp documentary-style photography to celebrate America’s farmers while espousing the values of Dodge’s Ram Truck. 

MOFO is objecting to the fact that almost all of the farmers depicted in the ad were white, with the exception of one African-American man, who was included as the “Magical Negro” featured in so many Hollywood productions.

Mas…Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers

Victoria Jackson: What we need is a ‘White History Month’

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I wrote a uke song called “White Men Are Good” and sang it at a comedy club about 4 years ago. I could feel the audience tense up. Why? Why is there a Black History Month but not a White History Month? Now, that the white race is becoming a minority in America, perhaps we need to make…say, January, White History Month.

The New York Times says, “White births are no longer a majority in the United States.”

I’m just really tired of the white male, and especially the white conservative, Christian male being attacked in cartoons, movies, TV shows, politics, Affirmative Action, etc. It’s like in order to fix the “discrimination” problem, culture flipped the racism from “against blacks” to “against whites”. Why do we have to be “against” anyone? Aren’t we all equal?

Mas…Victoria Jackson: What we need is a ‘White History Month’

Happy Hispanic Heritage Month? Money won’t buy you love

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It’s Hispanic Heritage Month. Break out a novelty sombrero and a bottle of Patron, because like a taco smothered in salsa, heritage is waay more palpable when it’s smothered in consumerism…

I often encounter people who don’t understand why I identify as Hispanic. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think it comes down to this: they’re eating the shit sandwich.

The shit sandwich is served-up fresh daily by consumerism. Let’s process culture, strip it of all that gunk we don’t need (like knowledge and power), and behold — now you can buy a poncho at Urban Outfitters. Culture itself has no value outside the bounds of consumption.

Culture is no different than a box of cereal.

Mas…Happy Hispanic Heritage Month? Money won’t buy you love