He lives in a piña under the sea — Bob Esponja — and you can too! Two lovely pineapples for just 25 pesos, or about $1.33. Test your piña for ripeness by pulling out a leaf at the top as you sing along with the Sponge Bob theme song below. If it pulls out easily, it’s ripe (according to my Abuelita). The leaf, you pervert. Get your mind out of the gutter.

The lyrics: [Mas…]


yellowcar“Okay, podemos ir a caminar pero si te cansas, es tu problema. No cargo bebes,” Lina says meanly to her four-year-old cousin.

“I’m not a baby!” says Teresita predictably but then insists on bringing her large plastic car, a hideous yellow contraption with giant painted eyeballs instead of headlights. Teresita gets in the toy car and looks at Lina expectantly. Lina sighs and begins to push her down the street.

“This is just a stroller, you know.” Lina grumbles. “You’re not making any progress into becoming a real person.”

Teresita either does not hear or pretends not to understand the English sentence. Lina suspects that rather than being a child “confused by the dichotomies of her bilingual upbringing” as the pre-school teacher suggested, that Teresita is just selectively deaf. [Mas…]

He lives in a piña under the sea — Bob Esponja — and this is his cancion.

The lyrics: [Mas…]