Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor

by EresNerd on July 3, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

wendysneakersbig(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.

Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”

The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week.  Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”

SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”

The sneaker legislation was introduced Tuesday afternoon after several senators joined Ireland in taking umbrage with Sen. Wendy Davis’ pink sneakers worn during her filibuster last week.

“That’s not the type of sneaker a Texan would wear! Those subversive type sneakers should be banned altogether.  What is wrong with a white sneaker?”  said Waco Sen. Alvin Fundament (R).  “My male colleagues use white sneakers with Velcro straps all the time to deal with with arthritis, gout and maids.”

Said Ireland:

Pink does not represent the solemnity of this body, but my Hispanic colleagues can wear those Nike Cortez under my bill.

María Purísima contributed to this report.

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{ 1 comment }

Dhela Griffith July 3, 2013 at 11:17 AM

OmG, what are these pompous aholes going to come with next?

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