Tia Lencha’s Cocina: I Teash You How to Make the Three Kings Bread

by TIA LENCHA on December 18, 2017 in Cultura, El Now

Hello! Is Tia Lencha here! Merry Chrismas! Today I teash you to make the Three Kings Bread, ju know, the one with the Baby Jesus in it? Jes, tha one.

I haf many things to celebrate this Chrismas, m’ijo get good grades, he has good healthy, he still helps me put my recipes on the google, and oso, Tia Lencha has a novio. Jes, a new one. Don’t jodge. His name is Axl Rosen. He is a Jewish. He didn’t know what the Three Kings Bread is, so I make for him.

Ingrediens:

• 1/2 cup of warm water
• 2 1/4 tea espoons of dry active yeast
• 4 cups all-purpose flour plus 2 or 3 table espoons more for dusting
• 3/4 cup of sugar, or if ju want it to be as sweet like my novio, add
1/4 cup more
• 3 LARGE whole eggs (not the little huevos)
• 3 egg yolks mixed with 4 table espoons of milk
• 1/4 tea espoon salt
• 1 1/2 table espoon orange extract
• 1 1/2 stick (or ¾ cup) unsalted butter softened. Plus more for the mixing bowl and plastic wrap.
• Freshly grated orange zest from one orange

Ingrediens for the topping:

• 1 egg yolk
• 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour
• 6 table espoons margarine or shortening.
• 1/2 cup of confectioner sugar
• Dry fruit like figs, candied citron, quince paste stripes, orange peels or cherries (or prunes, pecans, walnuts, or fruit cake mix if ju can’t find)
• 1 egg beaten for glazing the bread
• 1 tablespoon whole milk or water
• White sugar to sprinkle on top of the bread
• 1 plastic baby dolls (I no kidding)

Instructions:

• Pour lukewarm water into a bowl, and sprinkle with yeast. Stir with a fork until yeast has dissolved, then let stand until foamy, 5 to 10 minutes. Stir in 1/2 cup of the flour, and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let stand in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 25 minutes.
• In the meantime, mix flour, eggs, egg yolks, sugar, orange extract, orange zest, salt and butter in a large bowl. Mix until is crumbly. I knead the masa by hand but some people say, “Oh, Tia Lencha, but I have a Stand Mixer!” Ju do want ju want.
• Add yeast mixture to the bowl and mix. It will be very sticky but don’t act like ju don’t tosh sticky things before. Then ju add the flour if ju need. Put on a lightly floured surface and start kneading until you have a smooth dough. It will take about 15-20 minutes to get it right. Don’t talk to me if ju try to take a short cut. DO NOT add too much flour to your working area, the texture should be very soft, sort of wet… but in a good way. If you add more flour than needed your bread will be dry, like the tamales my comadre makes. She is no Mexican, but she think she is.
• When your dough is smooth and soft, put in a buttered bowl, and cover with buttered plastic wrap. The masa should be wet and elastic. Let dough stand in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 and 1/2 hours. Make sure your kitchen is warm to help your dough to rise. If the dough doesn’t double in volume after this time let it rest longer. The process of fermenting develops the flavor, so the more slower and longer is always better.
• While the masa is resting, mix the ingrediens for the decoration: margarine, and the confectioner sugar until it is creamy. Then add in the flour and egg yolk. Mix and mix until you have a smooth paste.
• After the first resting, turn the masa out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead a few times, then shape into a round cushion and making a hole in the middle shape into a large ring. If this remind you of something, thas good. Put the ring to a greased rimmed baking sheet, and loosely cover with more buttered plastic wrap. Let rise in a warm place for 45 minutes or more until almost double in size again. Gather all your decorations and the egg wash. For the egg wash whisk remaining egg with milk or water.
• Preheat oven at least 20 minutes before baking at 375 degrees. Put the rack near the bottom of the oven.
• Brush the dough with the egg wash two times for a golden crust. Form strips with the confectioner sugar paste and decorate the dough. Place some of the dried fruit pressing them gently into the dough. Sprinkle with sugar and bake for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake for 10 more minutes until bread is a nice golden brown color. Depending on your oven it will require more time.
• Transfer the bread to a wire rack to cool. After the bread has cooled insert the plastic baby dolls from the bottom of the bread. Some people put the dolls inside before baking, but I don’t want them to melt if they are the sheap plastic. Do not forget to let your guests know that there is a baby toy inside the bread. Ju don’t want them to choke on the Baby Jesus.

If you still have questions ju an post a question on the Feisbuk. Mijo put me account, ju know. Jus don put me the email when ju are baking becoz jur Three Kings Bread get burn.

The Three Kings Bread is a symbolize of the safe place for the Baby Jesus to be borned. When jur Bread is ready, ju cut it with a knife to symbol the danger the Baby Jesus was in when all the peoples try to kill him. Everyone has to sheck and make sure they don’t get the Baby Jesus in their piece of bread becoz if ju do, ju haf to be throw a parry on February 2.

My novio ask me if he should eat the Three Kings Bread becoz he is a Jewish.

I say, “Chure! Ju don’t eat the Baby Jesus.”

He say, “Good, becoz I’m a vegetarian.”

Tia Lencha’s eyes grow as big as the Three Kings Bread.

“Does this mean ju don’t eat carne asada tacos?”

My novio’s face change from the color golden (like a perfect Three Kings Bread) to being as red as my Valentine’s Day salsa.

Is this the end for this novio? Will we survive this Taco Crisis? Tune in to the next recipe to find out!

Rosca de reyes photo from here.

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