(PNS reporting from CENTRAL FLORIDA) Even George Zimmerman cannot believe what a total stupid asshole he is.
“Can you believe this guy? And by ‘this guy’, I mean ME. I keep getting pulled over for speeding, once I even had a gun in the glove compartment of my car! Me! A nationally hated guy, only famous for being a trigger happy dumbass who racially profiled and then killed a black child, is driving around the country over the speed limit, with a fucking gun! What balls I got on me! They must be made of brass! Let me check,” he said in an exclusive interview with PNS.
The 29-year-old self-styled Neighborhood Watch vigilante was detained this morning by police in Lake Mary, FLA after his estranged wife called 911 saying he had a gun and she was afraid for her life.
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“Speeding around the country like I’m on some kind of U.S. tour and getting pulled over twice is one thing, but now I’m arrested for some kind of domestic disturbance involving a firearm? I oughta have my head examined. No wonder my wife is divorcing me. George Zimmerman is a real piece of work. I mean, I am!”
As he was being lead off in handcuffs by Lake Mary police, Zimmerman did a little more self reflection, and said, “Seriously, I’m some kind of a major dick or something. Wow.”