Pocho Ocho top changes to expect now that Univision owns The Onion

univisiononionNow that UNIVISION has become a part owner of The Onion, our media analysts have compiled the Pocho Ocho top changes you can expect from the new corporation:

8. Daily stories tagged #TelemundoFail

7. Don Francisco’s triumphant return to TV as Area Man

6. Univision closes failing millennial-oriented website The Cilantro

5. Right-wing Cubans introduced to concept of “satire”

4. Busty blonde telenovela starlets get new roles as models for headshots used in mock “man in the street” features

3. Jorge Ramos sent to acting coach to learn how to fake a smile

2. Stoned futbol announcers now say BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLL

And the numero uno top change you can expect now that UNIVISION has become a part owner of The Onion is…

More websites/ingredients assimilated by Univision to build future media conglomerate El Guacamole.

Especial Correspondents Lalo Alcaraz, Eres Nerd, Estefania Zavala, and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.


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