Pocho Ocho ways to get ready for Hispanic Heritage Month 2014

jesseborregoHispanics across the United Estates are giddy with excitement as they prepare to observe Hispanic Heritage Month 2014, which starts Monday.

But with so much excitement, it’s easy to forget the fundamentals of this Federally-established fiesta.

¡Mira! A checklist! Here are the Pocho Ocho ways to prepare for Hispanic Heritage Month:

8. Reset your calendar so months begin on 15th

7. Purchase and enjoy all 57 bean varieties from Hispanic comida conglomerate Goya

6. Grow a luxurious mustache — you too, mujeres! 

Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire?

5. Teach your coworkers and children how to pronounce your last name

4. Speak Hispanic (Plan B: Brush up on your Latin)

3. Buy a yellow vest, stand on a corner near a nice restaurant, accept car keys offered by gringos and score a bitchin’ ride!

2. Trace your roots using genealogy.com and otrafamilia.com

And the numero uno way to prepare for Hispanic Heritage Month is…

Commemorate Jesse Borrego’s “15 minutes of fame” by busting out old Fame episodes on VHS.

That’s right, we ran this story last year, too!