Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

It was a big week for big news here at POCHO, where the big estory was our Mexclusive interview with new Twitter sensation @MexicanMitt, who told Pocho Ñews Service PNS “I’m in it to guin it!”

We also released the voicemail Catholic Bishop Gabino Zavala left when he told his boss the Archbishop about his secret life with a chica and two shorties.

The Racist White Ladies video (and response and apology videos) continued to amaze people who thought they’d seen everything from Arizona.

Turns out, Arizona-watchers, you ain’t seen anything, yet!

Click through for the stories and links.

Mas…Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

Commie Mayan Queen of Hearts: The caption contest!*


The back story is that when Soviet linguist Yuri Knorozov deciphered the classic Mayan glyphs in 1952, a mini Mayan craze swept Red artistic circles. Propaganda subtext? Your code is not safe, comrade. A deck of playing cards was the result. Meet the Queen of Hearts, a lovely Д is for “dama” (dame or Дама) indeed. And her little chihuahua.

Write the funniest caption, win the funniest prize!

Mas…Commie Mayan Queen of Hearts: The caption contest!*

Russki space junk crash brings Mayan Doomsday – are we screwed?

(PNS reporting from MIAMI) The imminent crash – later this week – of a Russian space probe scares local spiritual gurus and national experts alike. All of them fear that the death dive of the Russki rocket is a Cosmic Warning of the Mayan Doomsday, scheduled for Dec. 21. Their big brains, however, are split on ways to prevent the Beginning of the End.

“Oh it’s easy,”  one local specialist told PNS. “Just burn the candles.” Futurologist Pat Robertson’s advice is just one word: “Run!”

Russians espace commissars have predicted that fragments from the failed Phobos-Ground probe are expected to fall to Earth around Jan. 15.

What can an ordinary person do?

“Candles, definitely lots of candles,” said S.W. 46th St. curandero Alejandro “La Luz de Jesus” Sosa.

Mas…Russki space junk crash brings Mayan Doomsday – are we screwed?

Lalo’s Pocho Ocho New Year’s resolutions

8. Wear more slimming clothes

7. Get a new job to supplement income from five other jobs

6. Take a vacation at one of those nice FEMA camps

5. Quit drinking alcohol that doesn’t get me fucked up really fast

4. Reduce financial stress by picking up a hobby, like bank robbing, or writing a hit song

3. Start eating my 10-year supply of freeze-dried survival food

2. “Party Like It’s 2012”

And my top New Year’s Resolution for 2012:

72 dpi

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What are your New Year’s resolutions? Post them here!