BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from BIG BEAR, CA) Emerging from a long weekend “off the fuckin’ grid, dude” spent in an isolated mountain cabin with neither Internet nor cell service, area software programmer Carlos Perez has told friends he is angry he missed the entire Lil Wayne near death episode.
Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro (he may be the new president by the time you read this) has accused the United Estates of poisoning dead Hugo Chavez with special commie-killing cancer.
We talked to our sources in the intelligence community to compile the pocho ocho most likely ways the U.S. could have given Commissar Chavez the deadly disease:
7. Pinche high-fructose corn syrup
6. GMO salmon
Email from astronomer and Venezuelan native Ricardo Salamé Páez details today’s schedule for the Mayan Apocalypse:
HORARIO DEL FIN DEL MUNDO para los Habla Hispana
06:30 – Apertura del Fin
07:00 – Lluvia de meteoritos
08:30 – Llegada del primer tsunami
10:00 – Bienvenida de los ovnis
10:30 – flashmob baile de ovnis al estilo de Gangnam
… 11:36 – Comienzo de la Destrucción (sub.)
12:00 – Eclipse y la alineación de todos los planetas del sistema solar
12:00-14:00 – ALMUERZO
Today we observe Veterans Day, AKA Armistice Day, which marks the end of the first World War.
Dulce et Decorum est is a poem written by poet Wilfred Owen in 1917, during the War, and published posthumously in 1920. Owen’s poem is known for its horrific imagery and condemnation of war.
They don’t use poison gas any more (attention, Bashar Al-Assad in Syria) but phosphorous flares and drone strikes aren’t much fun either.
POCHO dedicates this poem to all our veterans in gratitude for their service and sacrifice and with the hope no child will ever be sent into war again.
RIP Snoop Dogg, hola kinder, gentler Snoop Lion! La La La (produced by Major Lazer.)
The Mars Volta band of El Paso pocho prog rockers live to die in this video of The Widow. K espooky!
Pre-millennium cult band Oingo Boingo rocks the Dead Man’s Party.
(PNS reporting from BURBANK) Now that an embarrassed Disney has explained that the animated character Princess Sofia the First is NOT a Latina princess, the studio was quick to announce that a real Latina princess is in the works, this time for a feature-length film.
Princess Malinche will be the heroine of Disney’s next animated film, due for release in the summer of 2014, according to a statement issued today.
The tentative cast already includes Catherine Zeta Jones as the voice of Malinche, Justin Bieber as Cortés and Paul Rodriguez as Fray Xicken.
The story of Malinche follows her idyllic upbringing in the then-Aztec empire in what is now Mexico during the early 1500s to her whirlwind romance with Spaniard Hernán Cortés, and finally to the epic drowning of her own children in the river.
When the kids ask why all these people are dying in Mexico’s Drug War, what do you say? The unmistakable David Hidalgo of Los Lobos (with harmonies by Jackson Browne) sings of The Silence on this Los Cenzontles tune recorded by the veteran East Bay collective in L.A.’s Echo Park in February. Closing guitar solo by Eugene Rodriguez.
David Byrne and Argentina’s La Portuaria team up to defy fear and death in Hoy lo le temo a la muerte.
Alex Koll pulls back the curtain on his dad’s tormented history, his violent career and his tragic end: The life and death of a Piñatador.
In Tijuana, a washed-up late night radio talk show host mocks his callers’ tales of the supernatural until one man phones in his story…from the other side. La Hora de la Muerte (24 mins.) Spanish with English subtitles.
RIP Adam Yauch AKA MCA. May the Fourth be with you in your next life. Cancer got the better of you but you always fought for your Right to Party!
You want the half-hour extended version NSFW video? We got it right here!
(PNS reporting from ALTA CALIFORNIA) Ethnic anthropologists recently discovered the last living Chicana who has never seen the coming-of-age movie Blood In Blood Out.
The woman, not named in the report, was spotted and identified last summer in the Los Angeles suburb of Cudahy, according to a study published in the prestigious journal Science.
The subject, 32, had no explanation for not seeing the film that is “required viewing” for a true Chicano or Chicana, according to the paper, although scientists have been analyzing her brain for abnormalities in her “cholo receptors:”