Because he wants to make America great again, GOP presidential nominee wannabe Donald Trump shared some nasty knowledge about Mexican immigrants when he announced his candidacy Tuesday (video).
But that’s not all! Here are are Pocho Ocho top things Donald Trump also wants you to know about Mexicans:
8. If you rub a Mexican’s tummy just the right way, they’ll wiggle they brown little arms and legs and say “Squee squee squee” but in Mexican of course.
7. Mexican show business is infested with thesbians.
6. Mexicans are so crazy lazy they will take your job.
8. Lance Armstrong
7. Jerry Sandusky
6. Sheriff Joe Arpaio
5. Gov. Jan Brewja
Where is your 1968 college graduation photo? It’s not in your college yearbook, the University of Pennsylvania Record.
You’ve written that you were “very glad to get finished.” Too busy for a senior photo?
The Record also notes the Celebrity Apprentice performer comes from someplace called “Jamaica” in New York State, which doesn’t sound very American.
Come clean, Donald: Did you really graduate like you claim? And if you did, where is your photo? How about a diploma?
Otherwise, you’re fired!
All my life, I’ve been told I could never be president — not because I’m a woman (PMS = Global Thermonuclear War) or a high-functioning alcoholic (um, hi, Grant, Taft, FDR, JFK, George Dubya…) but because I was not born in the United States.
However, the birther movement has changed all that. If Barack Hussein Obama was able to overcome the bureaucratic spaghetti goop monster that is immigration and fake his citizenship, so can I.
AJUA! You didn’t think I could do it. You doubted me. You said, “Oh no, Mexican Mitt, you cannot be the Republican nominee! They hate you so! They would never EVER let such a VIRILE, MACHO HOMBRE become the REPUBLICAN NOMINEE!” By virile and macho hombre, you must mean that a Mormon could never win the GOP nomination.
But you were WRONG. Last night, I finally got the required 1,144 delegates for the Republican nomination by winning Texas, the lone state to vote this week. Like I always said, “ALL MY VIEJAS LIVE IN TEJAS!” And I received a full 90% of my viejas’ votes. (I’ll have a word with you later, Margarita.)