I’m so sorry to tell you, son, but birthday cakes are for closers

by CARLOS AGUILAR on May 2, 2018 in Cultura

I won’t sit back and watch our culture waste away to the wimps weaned on participation trophies, and its more pernicious forbearer, the birthday cake.

Participation trophies are rightly the object of widespread scorn.

They unjustly reward children simply for being a member of the team. Neither coaches nor parents are able to exercise their objective analyses related to which kid gets recognized as valuable, or not.

They have ruined sports as we know it. All games everywhere operate under their dark spectre.

Similarly, the indiscriminate rewarding of cake on a kid’s birthday, regardless of behavioral, academic or economic growth smacks of paternalism and breeds dependency.

I’m sorry, Miguelito, but simply being alive doesn’t merit you shit. At least not in the real world.

We perpetuate this behavior at our peril.

We borrowed this image from SBNation. Thanks!

Carlos Aguilar blogs at BigBrownDad.com. All rights reserved, yo.

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