As Vatos Smiley and Chuy search for the true meaning of Valentine’s Day — and the place of amor in this troubled world — Smiley’s sister Angie sets them straight on how VDay REALLY works. [NSFW F-bomb.]
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx (Gustavo Arellano calls them “wokosos”) to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Wednesday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
PENDEJO. USE IT IN A SENTENCE. ERES UN PENDEJO.
There’s the Orange Pendejo, first of all, and that pendejo down the block who parks his ranfla like a baboso. Let’s not forget that pendeja on the train with the cheap perfume and those pendejos at the construction site who cat-call every time a mujer walks on by.
But what does PENDEJO mean, exactly? If you’ve ever looked it up, the dictionary says it means “pubic hair,” but how did that turn into “asshat” or “jerkface” or “_______?”
Let’s follow along with University of Texas Río Grande Valley Profe David Bowles:
By Janie Isidoro
Yes, I’ll admit it.
I have had six Coronas too many.
I’m at the moment where everything is hilarious and I love everyone. I hug random people and tell them how great life is. I hug my brother and tell him how much I love him and hate him for reading my diary when I was 15, baboso!
Cleaning up after Gema’s wedding is so much easier now that I’m drunk. I keep seeing Hector out of the corner of my eye, watching me. We have been friends since we were in 2nd grade.
He comes over next to me grabbing the glass bottles of Coronas from the tables, “Let’s get married.”
I try and look over at him but my eyes are having the hardest time adjusting to his face, “Whatever! Hurry up and pick up the bottles I want to rap!”
He starts laughing and keeps grabbing the bottles, “¡Pues oralé, rap!”
Dammit if these Coronas haven’t made me brave!
Hapi Valentime’s Day, pochos! Is Tia Lencha here.
In honor of the day of loff, and becos I haf been eating tacos since forever, and becos I gwant to share my loff gwith ju, I make a loff guide so ju can know things about your novio or novia when they take ju to eat at a taco truck – becos what else is so romantical?
After carefully I observe peoples at the taco truck, I made this taco guide, gwell, is like a astrology, but for tacos.
CLICK ON THE TACO MEAT CHOICES TO REVEAL THEIR MEANINGS:
[We’re not positive, but we think this mashup is by I AM CRAVING YOU. So thanks!]
[See more comics and writing by Sissy Biscuit, a real girl in a cartoon world, at SissyBiscuit.com]
In late 2019, Chicana writer and Long Beach pocha Myriam Gurba took down the book darling of the American Publishing Complex so hard that Oprah’s ears are still ringing.