As Hispanic Heritage Month 2019 ends, Brooklyn Hispanics try to carry on

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(PNS reporting from BROOKLYN) Hispanic Heritage Month is ending, and without the corporate-approved celebration as a focus, local members of the Hispanic/Latino community here aren’t really sure how they can go on being local members of the local Hispanic/Latino community here.

“What now?” lamented Brooklyn native and prolific bloguera Marielena Gutierrez (photo)

“Should I tell people to call me Mary Ellen for the remaining 11 months of the year? It’s not like they ever pronounce it right anyway,” she wrote on her PobrePickle blog.

Mas…As Hispanic Heritage Month 2019 ends, Brooklyn Hispanics try to carry on

Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2019

fathersdaychurchsignFather and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon.

Bronche: Angry Bull cocktails (Red Bull, tequila, orange juice) are just $3 and dads get all the Mexican Meatloaf Sliders they want for free on Father’s Day at TGI Viernes in the Rancho Pocho Mall. Sunday 10 AM – 2 PM. Mention my name, Chale Knickerbocker, for a blank stare.

Mas…Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2019

Ghost of Spanish dude sighted in CDMX, and he is pissed!

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) A reeking appartition dressed in the decaying uniform of a Spanish Conquistador was sighted around Mexico City last week, and boy, was he pissed!

The shrieking ghost was seen haunting the Mexico City site of a 1720 battle where the indigenous Mexica Empire defeated the Spanish.

Area man Pito Perez, who reported the ghost to PNS, said it first he thought the goblin might be La Llorona, or pero his drunk Uncle Abelardo, the mariachi, but no.

Mas…Ghost of Spanish dude sighted in CDMX, and he is pissed!

America pauses Monday for Dr. Ricky Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 2019

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause Monday to remember the life and message of Dr. Ricky Martin Luther King, Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever.

Post offices and other public facilities not already closed by the shutdown will be shuttered, banks and stock exchanges are taking the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – will go on sale all across America. Monday’s holiday honors RMLK’s 41st birthday.

Mas…America pauses Monday for Dr. Ricky Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 2019

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do over the July 4 break

elotessignFIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo tomorrow at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Los Light & Loafers Sparklistas with their presentation Rainbows of Love. Watch out for the confetti and glitter bombs!

Moms: Bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium.

Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks like last year.

INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat.

Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place this week and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door.

And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.

Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do over the July 4 break

Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2018

fathersdaychurchsignFather and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon.

Bronche: Angry Bull cocktails (Red Bull, tequila, orange juice) are just $3 and dads get all the Mexican Meatloaf Sliders they want for free on Father’s Day at TGI Viernes in the Rancho Pocho Mall. Sunday 10 AM – 2 PM. Mention my name, Chale Knickerbocker, for a blank stare.

Mas…Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2018

In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

pueblacartel640(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)

(PNS reporting from URRIALBA) Randy and Candy Wiggins (photo) plunged to their deaths Tuesday afternoon when the couple’s parachute failed to deploy during a skydive that was intended to reveal the gender of their child to be.

The Billings, Montana couple traveled to Costa Rica this week to leap from 12,000 feet above this rural mountain town in hopes of performing “the most epic gender reveal EVER,” Candy wrote on her Facebook page hours before the accident.

Mas…Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)

Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY)  Mexico is throwing in the towel — and picking up a broom — after Club America’s humiliating defeat to Toronto FC in the CONCACAF Champions League semi-final Tuesday night.  The loss signaled the death of the country’s storied soccer tradition.

After the 4-2 aggregate defeat, club officials for the Mexico City-based team said the result left little choice but to seek other options for a new national sport.

Mas…Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) NAFTA negotiations between the U.S., Canada and Mexico will likely only conclude when mankind ceases to exist or if extraterrestrial raids breed unity among humans that leads to the dissolution of international borders, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the trilateral talks.

Mas…Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

Mex Prez candidate AMLO says luchadores will protect U.S. border

(PNS reporting from NOGALES) Mexico Presidential front-runner Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) will deploy the country’s finest and fiercest lucha libre fighters to the northern border should U.S. President Donald Trump carry out his pledge to militarize the nations’ shared international boundary, the candidate known as AMLO said in a press conference on Wednesday.

Mas…Mex Prez candidate AMLO says luchadores will protect U.S. border

Costa Rican host family evicts gringo for flushing toilet paper

(PNS reporting from SAN PEDRO, COSTA RICA) Study abroad student Caleb Kostopoulos was kicked out of his temporary home in the Costa Rican capital of San José last night when his host family discovered he’d flushed toilet paper down the commode instead of putting it in the bathroom trashcan as instructed, the 20-year old Temple U sophomore wrote on his Facebook page.

Mas…Costa Rican host family evicts gringo for flushing toilet paper

Around Our Town on St. Paddy’s Weekend: Where to go, what to do

LUCK OF THE IRISH: Look for a pot o’ gold at the end of the rainbow all weekend long at Gustavo O’Grady’s Bar y Grill on East Olmos Boulevard.

The popular hangout will serve corned beef tacos, potato-stuffed chiles rellenos and beer-marinated enchilada irlanda sliders at $1 each during Happy Hour.

Happy Hour, you lucky leprechauns, lasts all weekend long, and GO’G’s always keeps 100 bottles of beer on the wall.

For $144 and a signed damage waiver, you high-rollers can try GO’G’s One Night in Dublin Lifestyle Tasting Menu — generous pours of Guinness and Jameson’s followed by a course of impassioned story-telling and poetry, more pours, then a rich hour of melancholy singing, pours again, all capped off by your choice of a bar fight or vomiting in the alley.

Wear a wee bit o’ green and Gay Gus O’Grady himself will kiss your Blarney Stone.

Mas…Around Our Town on St. Paddy’s Weekend: Where to go, what to do

Mexico ruling party promises to rig 2018 presidential elections


Cheating historically proven as best strategy to win, PRI President says

(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Members of Mexico’s PRI took to the streets this weekend to reassure supporters that, if a victory in the 2018 presidential elections is ever in doubt, the power-drunk party will revert to its most tried-and-true success tactic: Shameless electoral fraud.

Mas…Mexico ruling party promises to rig 2018 presidential elections

Tico man fed up with being called ‘Chino’ by everyone

Most friends don’t even know his real name, which is Ken

(PNS reporting from BELÉN, COSTA RICA) A local Costa Rican man born to Taiwanese immigrants is threatening to pack up and move to Taiwan though he’s never actually been there before.

Ken Chu, 28, who was born in Belén to Taiwanese immigrants, says his reasons for wanting to leave are simple.

“I’ve been known as Chino my entire life,” Chu said in a press conference at the Taiwan donated Puente de la Amistad in Guanacaste. “My friends, everyone I work with, my teachers at school, even Guachimen. Everyone calls me Chino. I’m not Chinese! I’m Tico!”

Mas…Tico man fed up with being called ‘Chino’ by everyone

Mexico’s Rafa Marquez quits pro soccer, wants to be drug lord

(PNS reporting from GUADALAJARA) Mexican national team defender Rafael Marquez announced his retirement from fútbol today, telling a press conference he is ready to commit more time to his budding drug-trafficking career and scaling the hierarchy of the Sinaloa and/or Jalisco New Generation drug cartels.

Mas…Mexico’s Rafa Marquez quits pro soccer, wants to be drug lord

STIX NIX HICKS PICKS (#WBW Way Back Wednesday POCHO.com 1999)

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Latino media crix nix the new prime-time fall tele sked in latest minority tubthump, claiming the nets are ignoring a whammo part of the aud by nixing topline talent of color. They also accuse not only webs, but percenteries, individual percenters, reps, prexies and veeps for the lack of color in the ranks of exex, scribblers, scripters, scribes, helmers and thesps.

Mas…STIX NIX HICKS PICKS (#WBW Way Back Wednesday POCHO.com 1999)

Evangelical Latino Trump backer repents, seeks God’s forgiveness

(PNS reporting from TIO TACO, TENNESSEE) Jorge Fregado, executive director of the Hispanic Evangelical Legislative League (HELL), no longer supports the Trump Administration, he told friends here over the weekend.

Fregado (photo) — who hosted a party in Washington, D.C. over the night before the Inauguration — said he was disappointed by the GOP leader’s legislative agenda, and especially hurt since Trump attended his group’s gala celebration.

Mas…Evangelical Latino Trump backer repents, seeks God’s forgiveness

Castro defends ‘Blue Rubber Band Man’ as July 4 parade marshall

(PNS reporting from VISALIA, CA) Outgoing Visalia Chamber of Commerce president Adrianna Castro stands behind the selection of her brother, area broccoli farmer and businessman Eddie Reyes, as Grand Marshall for this year’s annual July 4th parade.

“Eddie is not only an outstanding, civic-mind citizen,” she told PNS early this morning, “but his blue broccoli rubber bands put our Central Valley city on the world map!”

Castro announced the selection of Reyes (family photo, right) at the closed-door meeting Monday night, her last meeting as president of the group. Her term expires at the end of the month.

After the announcement, incoming president Tony Santamaria jumped up and called her choice “nepotism” and had to be “calmed down,” according to Chamber members at the meeting who contacted PNS.

“Eddie is more than just my big brother,” Castro explained. “He was a man with a plan Panama!”

Mas…Castro defends ‘Blue Rubber Band Man’ as July 4 parade marshall

Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2017

fathersdaychurchsignFather and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon.

Bronche: Angry Bull cocktails (Red Bull, tequila, orange juice) are just $3 and dads get all the Mexican Meatloaf Sliders they want for free on Father’s Day at TGI Viernes in the Rancho Pocho Mall. Sunday 10 AM – 2 PM. Mention my name, Chale Knickerbocker, for a blank stare.

Mas…Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2017

Goldie Han Solo, 4, eulogized at tearful funeral: ‘She always smiled’

(PNS reporting from PALOS VERDES, CA) Beloved aquatic family member Goldie Han Solo was remembered for her cheerful demeanor and active lifestyle at a tearful funeral ceremony in the Solo family’s back yard here Tuesday.

Goldie, believed to be four years old (photo), apparently died of asphyxiation and/or dehydration after she leaped from her fishbowl Monday night around 11:37 PM. That’s when a small earthquake (3.5 Richter) shook this suburban Los Angeles community, according to the U.S. Geological Service.

Her teeny, shiny body was discovered on the floor of Reyna Solo’s bedroom at 7 AM Tuesday by family member Gilda Solis-Chihuahua Solo, who awakened 8-year-old Reyna with loud whimpering and assertive licking. Reyna and Gilda, a Canine-American, had both slept through the temblor; Goldie, not so much.

Reyna attempted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation but Goldie was already stiff and dry, swimming in that fish pond in the sky.

Mas…Goldie Han Solo, 4, eulogized at tearful funeral: ‘She always smiled’

East Los man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias (photo) astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Mas…East Los man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

WHOA! IF TRUE! How to pronounce ‘taco’ (shocking video)


(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Top officials in the Intelligence Community have confirmed to PNS that the shocking video just released by the whistleblowers at HowToProunce.orgHow to Pronounce “Taco” — is totally legit and is only the first of many shockers to come. Check back here for further developments as we follow up on this breaking story.

PREVIOUSLY ON HOW TO PRONOUNCE:

Mas…WHOA! IF TRUE! How to pronounce ‘taco’ (shocking video)

Area man happy to share new Spanish tips with co-workers

(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON BEACH) Area sales manager Rick Miller is happy to share his new-found Spanish vocabulary with co-workers, buds from the office disclosed Tuesday.

Miller (photo), who explained that he went to a barbecue Sunday over at his new Mexican-American neighbors’ house, informed early arrivals at yesterday’s quarterly sales meeting that a limon is actually what we call a lime in English, and lemons are limas in Spanish.

Mas…Area man happy to share new Spanish tips with co-workers

Latinos take week off to celebrate Catholicism’s cultural rape

(PNS reporting from LATIN AMERICA) Millions of Latin Americans are on vacation this week to celebrate Semana Santa, a festival to commemorate the desecration of the region’s native cultures and the Spaniards’ forceful imposition of Catholicism through celestial acts such as rape, pillage and genocide.

Holy Week, where children are off school and adults binge drink, gives Latin Americans time to reflect upon Jesus Christ’s selfless sacrifice for humanity, despite the fact that 500 years earlier no one on this side of the world had heard of him and worshiped far cooler Gods of the sun, rain and maize. Catholic cathedrals across the region are certain to be packed with Aztec, Mayan and Inca descendants, all to give thanks and praise to a merciful God coerced into their societies by armed, greed-fueled colonialists spreading the heavenly message of El Espíritu Santo.

Mas…Latinos take week off to celebrate Catholicism’s cultural rape

Mexico to build Cancun wall to keep out ‘Spring Breakers’

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Mexico’s senate approved a bill yesterday to build a wall around the tourist mecca of Cancun to discourage the flood of vacuous drunken junior college troglodytes that descend upon the city’s pristine beaches every “Spring Break.”

“When America sends its people, they’re not sending their best…Stop me if you’ve heard this before,” Senator Enrique LaRaza said in his speech prior to the approval vote.

“They’re sending people with Chinese symbol tattoos, and they’re getting even more regrettable tattoos here. They’re bringing spray tans. Bleach tips. They’re bringing two years of obligatory foreign language Spanish. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, go to four-year universities.”

Mas…Mexico to build Cancun wall to keep out ‘Spring Breakers’

Trump proposes fines for Latinos who say they’re ‘American’

Latinos pissed, aggressively emphasize America not a country

(PNS reporting from MANHATTAN) For years, Latinos have insisted that they are also “Americans.” Now, U.S. President Donald Trump plans to fine them each time they use the term.

Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the “American” membership. Each time a U.S. citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which abuela makes the best tamales.

Mas…Trump proposes fines for Latinos who say they’re ‘American’

Neighborhood Guatch: Where to go, what to do on St. Patick’s Day

LUCK OF THE IRISH: Look for a pot o’ gold at the end of the rainbow today at Gustavo O’Grady’s Bar y Grill on East Olmos Boulevard. The popular hangout will serve corned beef tacos, potato-stuffed chiles rellenos and beer-marinated enchilada irlanda sliders at $1 each during Happy Hour.

Happy Hour, you lucky leprechauns, lasts all day long, and GO’G’s always keeps 100 bottles of beer on the wall.

For $144 and a signed damage waiver, you high-rollers can try GO’G’s One Night in Dublin Lifestyle Tasting Menu — generous pours of Guinness and Jameson’s followed by a course of impassioned story-telling and poetry, more pours, then a rich hour of melancholy singing, pours again, all capped off by your choice of a bar fight or vomiting in the alley.

Wear a wee bit o’ green and Gay Gus O’Grady himself will kiss your Blarney Stone.

Mas…Neighborhood Guatch: Where to go, what to do on St. Patick’s Day

America pauses Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 2017

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause tomorrow to remember the life and message of Ricky Martin Luther King Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever.

Post offices and other public facilities will be closed, banks and stock exchanges are taking the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – will go on sale all across America. Monday’s holiday honors RMLK’s 39th birthday.

Mas…America pauses Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 2017

Chipotle to sell cannabis in California, Colorado, Oregon

chipotlesoon(PNS reporting from DENVER) Chipotle Mexican Grill is planning to introduce cannabis-based comida in California, Colorado and Oregon later this year, PNS has learned. The decision follows recreational marijuana’s legalization in the Golden State, which now joins its two neighbors on America’s High Frontier.

The new vegan/vegetarian product — dubbed Mota Al Pastor — will replace the reviled Sofrita tofu-based mock meat mezcla that has insulted palates since the chain’s opening. Mota al Pastor will be served in burritos, in tacos, and as a topping for nachos.

Mas…Chipotle to sell cannabis in California, Colorado, Oregon