Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines for Valentine’s Day 2020


Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day.

Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx (Gustavo Arellano calls them “wokosos”) to get lucky AND make the world a better place?

Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:

8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Wednesday night — what do you think — 8-ish?

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?

6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Mas…Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines for Valentine’s Day 2020

I’m not changing my name to give White people diversity cred

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTHI am a mixed-race person. My father’s indigenous ancestors are from multiple tribes of present-day Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Northern Mexico, and throughout the Americas. They’ve been on this land for over ten thousand years. My other ancestors through him hail from Mexico, West Africa, and Spain.

I was raised to believe I am White. My mom is White, of Scottish, Swedish, and French descent, and the man who raised me is a tall blonde man of Dutch-Polish descent. That’s where I get my last name – Vande Panne. It is Dutch in origin, most likely from the village of De Panne on the present-day Belgian coast.

Mas…I’m not changing my name to give White people diversity cred

POCHAS ON FILM: M-M-M-M-M YYY LLORONA! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

M-M-M-M-M YYY LLORONA!

How to annoy Mexicans, let me count the gueys.

One of the best gueys, other than to insist that we are all criminals who need to be deported — even if we are citizens — is to appropriate a beloved part of our culture and act as if you are entitled to do so. You may ask us why are you upset about this The Curse of La Llorona movie? Aren’t there brown people in it? Shouldn’t you be happy that one of your legends is getting the feature film treatment? Doesn’t the director have what sounds like a Latin name? WHY AREN’T YOU MEXICANS EVER HAPPY? WHY DON’T YOU JUST EAT A TACO? WHY IS EVERYBODY SHOUTING?

Mas…POCHAS ON FILM: M-M-M-M-M YYY LLORONA! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

After the Pittsburgh tragedy, words don’t seem enough

I’ve never understood antisemitism.

As a Mexican-American man with little exposure to Jewish people up until college, that hate always seemed like one group of white people discriminating another group of white people for no good reason.

I never understood why if our country went to war against the Nazis in World War II, we would have Americans that would act like the enemy.

We are supposed to be the heroes, not the villains.

Mas…After the Pittsburgh tragedy, words don’t seem enough

White lady does not like brown family’s birthday party (video)

DATELINE GLENOAKS PARK, GLENDALE, CA, SATURDAY, AUGUST 25, 2018:

Gracie Pinzón de Hernández writes on Facebook:

I thought I would share this with you guys… this woman almost got away with robbing us from the joy of celebrating 4 years of life for our little one. We planned and saved to give him the kind of party we never had. My husband and I thought we would never be parents so birthdays are a big deal. I almost didn’t post this but decided that I needed to.

Mas…White lady does not like brown family’s birthday party (video)

NYC profe visits East Los, eats tacos, takes photos, buys Doyers shirt

From #PueblaYork to #OaxaCalifornia

I live in NYC, and I have to admit, it had been a long time since I spent time in L.A., close to a decade.

In 2008, I visited my tía abuela who lived in Orange County. She drove me up to L.A. to see Olvera Street and a quick drive through Boyle Heights. It’s been a decade since then, and this summer I had a few days and a rental car, so I saw some things. I had some taco literacy work to do, but more than that, I wanted to learn more about the gente, to visit some places that have been mythologized for me, a Chicano from rural Arizona.

Califas, as I heard y’all refer to yourselves, I had come to get to know you better.

Mas…NYC profe visits East Los, eats tacos, takes photos, buys Doyers shirt

Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)

(PNS reporting from URRIALBA) Randy and Candy Wiggins (photo) plunged to their deaths Tuesday afternoon when the couple’s parachute failed to deploy during a skydive that was intended to reveal the gender of their child to be.

The Billings, Montana couple traveled to Costa Rica this week to leap from 12,000 feet above this rural mountain town in hopes of performing “the most epic gender reveal EVER,” Candy wrote on her Facebook page hours before the accident.

Mas…Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)

Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY)  Mexico is throwing in the towel — and picking up a broom — after Club America’s humiliating defeat to Toronto FC in the CONCACAF Champions League semi-final Tuesday night.  The loss signaled the death of the country’s storied soccer tradition.

After the 4-2 aggregate defeat, club officials for the Mexico City-based team said the result left little choice but to seek other options for a new national sport.

Mas…Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) NAFTA negotiations between the U.S., Canada and Mexico will likely only conclude when mankind ceases to exist or if extraterrestrial raids breed unity among humans that leads to the dissolution of international borders, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the trilateral talks.

Mas…Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

Mex Prez candidate AMLO says luchadores will protect U.S. border

(PNS reporting from NOGALES) Mexico Presidential front-runner Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) will deploy the country’s finest and fiercest lucha libre fighters to the northern border should U.S. President Donald Trump carry out his pledge to militarize the nations’ shared international boundary, the candidate known as AMLO said in a press conference on Wednesday.

Mas…Mex Prez candidate AMLO says luchadores will protect U.S. border

Costa Rican host family evicts gringo for flushing toilet paper

(PNS reporting from SAN PEDRO, COSTA RICA) Study abroad student Caleb Kostopoulos was kicked out of his temporary home in the Costa Rican capital of San José last night when his host family discovered he’d flushed toilet paper down the commode instead of putting it in the bathroom trashcan as instructed, the 20-year old Temple U sophomore wrote on his Facebook page.

Mas…Costa Rican host family evicts gringo for flushing toilet paper

Prudential courts Latinos with nonsense ‘Spanish’ #hashtag

I can only imagine what went on at the marketing pitch meeting for the above Tweet:

Prudential Executive 1: We need to connect with Spanish-speaking latinos *and* let them know we can help them be prepared and get financially fit.

Prudential Executive 2: Yeah, but the Prudential brand has to be prominent, and top of mind.

Marketing Dude: No se diga más. I got it!

Mas…Prudential courts Latinos with nonsense ‘Spanish’ #hashtag

What are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to tell that Spring has finally esprung?

Spring begins today as we mark the Vernal Equinox. But if you’re not looking at a calendar, how would you know?

Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell that Spring has Sprung:

8. Chipotle Mexican Grill introduces Fresh Seasonal Virus Menu

7. KKK members buy new tiki torches, don short-sleeved sheets, and start work on their tans

6. Sarah Huckabee switches to new Spring-colored scowl

Mas…What are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to tell that Spring has finally esprung?

POCHO HISTORY 101: ‘Americanizing’ Mexicans by changing their diet

Is what you eat political?

Do you accept the claim that your food choices determine your social order in this world?

And do you accept that conforming to white American norms in eating is important in transforming people of color into better citizens? Will assimilating one’s food choices make people of color less prone to crime and revolutionary tendencies?

Believe it or not, this is something that has been explored and well discussed in our communities for over a century.

In the 1920s in Southern California there were social reformers who were sent on transform the eating choices made by the public, especially among the immigrant working-class.

One of the most notable reformers to arise in this era was a lady by the name of Pearl Idelia Ellis, of the Department of Americanization and Homemaking, of Covina City Elementary Schools.

She was the author the guide Americanization though Homemaking which was published in 1929, detailing her work.

Mas…POCHO HISTORY 101: ‘Americanizing’ Mexicans by changing their diet

Pocho Ocho top things Latinos are giving up for Lent

During Lent, according to Wikipedia, “many of the faithful commit to fasting or giving up certain types of luxuries as a form of penitence.”

Here are the Pocho Ocho Top luxuries Latinos are giving up for Lent:

8. Theatrical trailers for Olaf’s Frozen Adventure

7. Speaking respectfully to creditors

6. Exploitation of conchas, especially pink ones

Mas…Pocho Ocho top things Latinos are giving up for Lent

Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day 2018

larazatshirtLove is in the air for Valentine’s Day.

Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx to get lucky AND make the world a better place?

Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho Top Activist Pickup Lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:

8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Wednesday night — what do you think — 8-ish?

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?

6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day 2018

Pocha’s Guide to CDMX: Where to go, how to get robbed, what to eat

Last Sunday night my dad picked me up at the San Diego Airport after my nine-hour, one stop in Houston, flight from Mexico City, and my uncle called over the Bluetooth and started chatting about his recent visit to my city of residence.

“At first I was afraid to be walking around el Centro, but after a few days I got over it.”

If a Pocho who lived in CDMX for over 20 years fears a short trip back to Mexico City, then what are the rest of us Millenial Poch@s out here supposed to do to conquer this? Have no fear!

The Pochas Guide to Mexico City is here!

Mas…Pocha’s Guide to CDMX: Where to go, how to get robbed, what to eat

Mexico ruling party promises to rig 2018 presidential elections


Cheating historically proven as best strategy to win, PRI President says

(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Members of Mexico’s PRI took to the streets this weekend to reassure supporters that, if a victory in the 2018 presidential elections is ever in doubt, the power-drunk party will revert to its most tried-and-true success tactic: Shameless electoral fraud.

Mas…Mexico ruling party promises to rig 2018 presidential elections

In Spanish Harlem, they looked at me and asked: ‘What are you?’

I remember the first time I thought I might not be White.

I was about 8 years old, in my elementary school’s cafeteria. We had been learning about heritage in class that day, and everyone in my Michigan hometown, it seemed, had ancestors who came from Denmark or Holland. They were all blonde-haired and blue-eyed. I remember a classmate turned around and looked at me and said, “What are you?” “I’m a kid,” I answered, confused. “Just like you.”

“No,” was the reply. “I mean, what are you? Are you Italian? Indian?”

I was confused. “I’m an American,” I said, proudly. I knew my mom’s family went back in this country a long time, and had fought in the Revolutionary War. Why would I be Italian?

As I grew older, I became hyper-aware of my dark hair and dark eyes. Everyone in town—and in my family, it seemed—was tall, blonde, and blue- or green-eyed. They all had little ski-jump noses. My nose was big, round, and wide.

But my dad was a tall blonde Dutchman, and my mom always checked “White” or “Caucasian” on my school forms, and—why would I question my parents?—so I grew up White.

Except for the many, many times, White people did not accept me.

It gnawed at me, the question I received more and more the older I got: “What are you?”

By high school, I knew I wanted to go someplace where I didn’t stand out because of my features. Someplace where people looked like me. I chose New York City, where I instinctively knew there were people who looked like me, and where, I thought, no one would ask, “What are you?”

Mas…In Spanish Harlem, they looked at me and asked: ‘What are you?’

Taxi driver videos a UFO/OVNI over Villa Mercedes, San Luis, AR


Dude was out driving his taxi last week in Villa Mercedes, in the province of San Luis, Argentina, when he started having electrical problems with his car. First the radio went crazy. Then the car died. Then he saw this thing in the sky. But what was it? Doh! It was an UNIDENTIFIED flying object — an objeto volador NO IDENTIFICADO.

More at INEXPLICATA, the Journal of Hispanic UFOlogy. FWIW, Inexplicata locates the incident in San Luis, MX, but we think that’s wrong.