I went to Trump Tower, the Belly of the Beast (videos, photos)

Hi. It’s me, Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz.

I just capped a week of touring the East Coast speaking at Harvard University’s Beyond Tomorrow arts conference and a presentation at LatinoJustice PRDLEF (the legal nonprofit where Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor once defended Boricua rights) with a visit to The Eastern White House, Trump Tower.

I was joined by my NYC sherpa, Jeronimo  Saldaña, creator of the MAKE MEXICO GREAT AGAIN hats, when we foolish ventured into the Golden Toilet that is Donald Trump’s supervillain lair.

Outside, we encountered heavy security, including barricades, NYPD wagons and four or more combat-armed Secret Service agents as doormen, and many more inside. After going through metal and bomb detector security, the guard told me, “This is the Secret Service. We don’t mess around.”

Also, there were Trump branded everythings, including the restaurant and bar reviewed mercilessly in Vanity Fair magazine. The interior of the building seemed to be like it was once a luxury mall in the late 80s. lots of pinkish marble and gold. There were plenty of Trump products, and hats displayed, we couldn’t snap snarky photos with them all.

Trump private security snarled at us when we wore Jeronimo’s hats and posed mockingly with Trump’s signature red old man hats. Trump Tower, we salute you.