pink chonies

[Payton Hoegh toons regularly at Weekly Political dot com.]

sheriffjoetrumpArizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio — racist, birther, and pendejo — is set to endorse racist, birther, and pendejo Donald Trump in the Iowa GOP caucuses, according to The New York Times.

Our Especial Correspondents have been on the phone with sources in Arizona, Iowa and New York probing the thinking behind this decision and we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Sheriff Joe Arpaio Will Endorse Donald Trump:

8. Pigs of a feather oink together

7. New York values

6. Spawned in the U.S.A. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.

“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”

Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of  añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.

“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering.  You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said. [Mas…]