Fred and Barney come back from buying frutas frescas — watching out for the bank robbers mentioned in the car radio news alert — and you won’t believe what happens next!
Here it is en Ingles:
- Fred and Barney joke about fresh fruit being wasted on their wives.
- The guys “nerd shame” another guy building an airplane for the science show.
- Fred is not supportive when Wilma and Betty invite them to the Women’s Art Show for good luck.
- Bad guitar solos
Hey kids! Here’s a video about how to make guacamole, with your host and chef Tio Choko.
How would you like those little “Mexican power bars” delivered to your door all frozen and stuff? Got $110? There are three colors to choose from, all for just under $20 a pound!
Comic artist Axur Eneas created a series of illustrations of videogame gear, characters, mascots, logos, icons, and glyphs for a gamer convention in Mexico DF. We captioned them all for your nerdy geeky pleasure.
Botas picudas (pointy boots) and shitty “tribal” music are the highlights of this campaign video for candidato del PAN Diego Leyva por el distrito 1 en Guanajuato.
PREVIOUSLY ON GUANAJUATO:
Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:
8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.
7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.
6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to.
(PNS reporting HOUSTON) Lalo’s Cocina Bar & Grill here will be serving special New Year’s Day breakfasts to early risers going to Mass and partiers winding down from New Year’s Eve, but that’s not the whole estory.
In the film Patch Adams, Hunter “Patch” Adams — played by the late Robin Williams — “commits himself into a mental institution. Once there, he finds that using humor to help his fellow inmates gives him a purpose in life….”
By Pablo Neruda
I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
At the Sierra Blanca, Texas, border checkpoint, even La MIGRA has realized that immigrants have rights.
PREVIOUSLY ON THE BORDER:
PREVIOUSLY ON MAYANS AND AZTECS AND OLMECS, OH MY:
Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam is an iconic Latino group. At the forefront of “freestyle,” Lisa Velez fronted the group, which released the album Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam with Full Force.
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) During his morning coffee break, local accountant, Lawrence “Lencho” Flores, completed a survey that appeared on his Facebook timeline called, What Selena Character are You? According to sources, Flores was deeply disappointed with the result of Yolanda Saldivar as his character.
According to the quiz, Flores is Yolanda Saldivar who “when you feel slighted, watch out!”
Lighter Shade of Brown is an iconic group for Latino Hip-Hop. The Southern California duo of Robert Gutierrez and Bobby Ramirez entered into the Chicano consciousness in 1990 with their album, Brown and Proud. Featuring the singles, On a Sunday Afternoon and Latin Active, the album is a modern day classic.
Muchas gracias for the regalos de mi Cumple! I thought the libros were great. Is this the book about that show on HBO con los lobos? We don’t watch HBO much porque tu Mom sees her Novelas y esa muchacha Rachel Maddow. Se enoja after watching her program. Va hacer volunteer con la guera, Wendy Davis. Dice qu no vieno a este país para que sus hijas no tenga oportunidades.
Pero, tu sabes I like leyendo better than seeing la Tele. Mijo, internet surfing counts as reading! A mi me gusta leer los periódicos en Mexico y el New York Times. Si, tambien leo el Perez Hilton. Mijo, I don’t have to be reading Enrique Krauze todo el tiempo.
¡Peligro! ¡Bigote! From two years ago, photographer and location unknown, found on Imgur
PREVIOUSLY ON BIGOTE/MUSTACHE:
Student film? Bad Accent Video Theatre? Whatever! El Amor de Mi Amante is mini-telenovela brought to you by Taco Bell and this year’s hottest new fragrance — Twist!
PREVIOUSLY ON BAD SPANISH ACCENT VIDEO THEATRE:
Mexican revolutionary hero Emiliano Zapata shows off his new look in an oil painting posted on Facebook by artist Cahirez Ch.
Must be something in the air! Frida Kahlo just got a makeover too.
PREVIOUSLY ON EMILIANO ZAPATA:
That’s the question on the front page of the Bangor Daily News.
It’s not a typo, according JimRomenesko.com:
(PNS reporting from EDINBURG, TX) They just about went deaf, but Alcario and Isela Garza braved a radio station’s sonic assault and managed to safely enter the Rancho Sinaloa grocery store here yesterday.
The Garzas — who had just left their yoga class — entered the relatively-quiet food market after surviving 150 decibels of banda coming from a radio station’s “Chingona Van.” The painted-like-a-billboard electric blue truck was parked next to the front entrance, blasting Banda Machos’s La Culebra at top volume.
Radio La Chingona, the Rio Grande Valley’s number one station, was giving out free bumper stickers and hotdogs, and Las Chingonas — two women in radio station cheerleader outfits — were spinning a roulette wheel that awarded two tickets to the station’s upcoming Noches Ranchera festival featuring Paquita del Barrio. The FM station proudly advertises “you’ll never know what we’ll play next.”
(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship.
The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white polystyrene cross, adorned with flowers, sits front and center on Benjamin Maestas’ lawn in Montrose.
Just before a scheduled 6 PM Saturday rendezvous at Hugo’s Regional Mexican Cuisine, girlfriend Vicki Gardea got a text from Maestas saying he couldn’t meet due to “a short deadline to close on a shopping center for a multinational client.”
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) All across America, elementary school teachers performed a traditional back-to-school ritual this week — the ceremonial renaming of thousands of boys named “José.”
The annual ritual is performed when teachers take roll in the morning:
- First, teachers call the boys named “José” by new “American” names, typically “Joe,” “Joey,” or “Joseph.”
- After a moment of silence, the boys realize the teacher is calling them, and the ceremony concludes when the boys accept their new names by answering with “here” or “present.”
The ritual was performed here earlier this week at Indian Creek Elementary School.
(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night.
El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here. The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492.
It was a more or less typical evening for the Balli family, according to a Guadalupe County Sheriff’s detective familiar with the case. There was no hint of the trouble to come, he said, “when boy’s parents threatened the perpetrator with El Cucuy if he didn’t brush his teeth before he went to bed.”
The youth, who turned nine July 13, refused, the officer said, so his parents summoned El Cucuy to the modest ranch-style home.
El Cucuy (file photo, above) manifested in the kid’s room around 9:40 PM, according to the investigator, and was killed during a brief firefight by “some type of particle-beam weapon” created by the boy.
The room was “a mess with comic books and plasma everywhere,” he said, and El Cucuy’s remains “looked and smelled like burnt frijoles.”
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) Fabian Ramirez expressed deep disappointment Wednesday night as he left the 7PM showing of Pacific Rim at the Premiere Cinema 18 at Bassett Place Mall.
The 42-year-old father of three teenagers told PNS he heard the “movie was about MEChA” and “wanted to expose my kids to a movie about Chicanos.” Ramirez, a former chair of the Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano(a) de Aztlan (MEChA) at the University of Texas campus here, gathered his children Vladimir, Xochitl and Emiliano for what he hoped would be a big family night out: Seeing “Chicanos fighting against the power structure of AmeriKKKa.”
Instead, Ramirez found the “the movie was about these big robots piloted by military shooting monsters.”
“Pacific Rim,” he sadly concluded, “is not about my MEChAs.”
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.
Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”
The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week. Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”
SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”
(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Famed Chicano attorney Oscar Zeta Acosta — who “disappeared without a trace” in Mexico 40 years ago — has once again seen his shadow while sitting on the wharf in San Blas, Nayarit. Now he’ll have to live a life of secret exile for another year.
Acosta, now 78, sits on a comfortable chair overlooking the Pacific every June 1. If he sees his shadow before a certain time, Acosta announces, “I have paid all my debts, I have paid all my dues and now nothing remains but the joy of madness. Another Indian gone amok.”
He made that exact announcement in a workingman’s waterfront pulque bar 10 days ago, PNS has learned.
(PNS reporting from CANADIA) David Pérez became the first NAFTA mojado when he crossed illegally into Canadia Saturday.
The undocumented worker from Jalpa, Zacatecas first crossed the Rio Grande into the United States near San Elizario, TX, 10 years ago seeking employment in El Norte.
After working in El Paso for a year doing construction, he continued north, staying with relatives in Denver, Chicago, and Minnesota.
“I kept searching for El Norte and there was always more Norte to explore,” Pérez told PNS.
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) A rainy day failed to damper the spirits of people marching against Genetically Modified Organisms in downtown Austin Thursday.
With signs proclaiming JUST SAY NO TO GMO, the crowd rallied on the steps of the Capitol to protest the “seeds of destruction” they say GMO foods present to society.
Not all the people at the rally supported that viewpoint, however.
“Frijoles should be GMO, so Mexicans can grow,” said Richard Salazar, a software engineer who stands 5’6″ tall and is the president of the local chapter of Itty Bitty Mexicans or IBMs.