(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) A rainy day failed to damper the spirits of people marching against Genetically Modified Organisms in downtown Austin Thursday.
With signs proclaiming JUST SAY NO TO GMO, the crowd rallied on the steps of the Capitol to protest the “seeds of destruction” they say GMO foods present to society.
Not all the people at the rally supported that viewpoint, however.
“Frijoles should be GMO, so Mexicans can grow,” said Richard Salazar, a software engineer who stands 5’6″ tall and is the president of the local chapter of Itty Bitty Mexicans or IBMs.
“Mexican foods should be genetically enhanced!” IBM vice chair (5’3”) and attorney Angel Reveles added. “Mexicans get most of their protein from pinto beans, but regular frijoles put us at a disadvantage to Anglos who consume far more protein via meat and dairy and ten they become taller and overpower us with their height in business settings.”
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“if GMOs frijoles could have triple the protein than average beans, imagine how many more NFL players we could produce that don’t suck, like Mark Sanchez?’ the corporate lawyer said.
Unfortunately for the IBMers, “super frijoles” are getting zero research attention. The group plans to lobby university agricultural schools to “promote research into this essential Mexican staple.”
Research is currently focused on “GMO corn, which provides carbs,” said Reveles. “GMO corn is only good if you need to carb up for a Tarahumara-type run.”
Some protesters were confused by the IBMs pro-GMO stance. “Mexicans live in harmony with nature when they eat GMO-free pinto beans,” said 5’10” Amber Leeser. “If Mother Nature’s Wisdom demands Mexican should be short, we should respect Mother’s decision. Free range Mexicans, of course.”
“I am doing this for all Mexican children who eat frijoles everyday but are unable to afford meat and queso,” Salazar responded. “They should not suffer height bias when science can prevent it.”
As the protesters walked away from the Capitol grounds Salazar pointed to a sign saying “Organic Food is My Medicine.”
“It is easy being green when you are already tall,” he noted.
Corn image via Industry Leaders Magazine