Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

barackonDespite the his many significant accomplishments and chingon new proposals, we were disappointed by what President Obama didn’t say at Tuesday night’s State of the Union address.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:

8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.

7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.

6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to.

5. The Bull Moose Party? Total No Show.

4. Where are the special sunglasses that reveal the Republicans’s secret identities?

3. Applause bumped the Mass Effect 4 released date reveal.

2. No crop subsidies for eloteros

And the numero uno reason the State of the Union gave us a sad is …

Didn’t advocate for equal rights amendment…for corporations.