Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:
8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.
7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.
6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to.
We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:
8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans
7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”
6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Barack Obama plans to use his executive powers to raise the minimum wage for employees of Federal contractors and he wants corporate executives and local and state officials to do the same.
“Give America a raise!” he said in his State of the Union address Tuesday night:
In the coming weeks, I will issue an Executive Order requiring federal contractors to pay their federally-funded employees a fair wage of at least $10.10 an hour – because if you cook our troops’ meals or wash their dishes, you shouldn’t have to live in poverty.
Additional Obama initiatives are aimed at the Latino community. Sources close to the President have told PNS to expect the Administration to implement these additional programs in the coming weeks:
Here are the top eight:
8. The NSA will intercept Republicans’ text messages to each other and display them on the JumboTron in real time
7. President Obama will be sporting snazzy new Uncle Sugar costume
Happy Presidents Day from Mija Weekly! This week: the State of the Union is doomed! Also, I say adios to el Popa and hello to some ruby red slippers. Last, don’t forget it’s Lent (avoid pork chops and cruise ships.)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) With gun nut Ted Nugent (a tragic victim of Cat Scratch Fever) in the House, and rogue cop Christopher Dorner‘s fate still unclear, President Obama took no chances when he delivered the State of the Union Address here Tuesday night, replacing the customary American flag pin on his lapel with a custom button.
Click on the photo to enlarge ☛
Hola Gueyes! This is my Live Tweet/State of the Union response chingadera. Will someone please get me a water, that bottle I’m looking at is right out of reach. CHINGAO!
MEXIPHONE CHECK, JUAN TU, JUAN TU
HIJOLE EL TWITTER IS ESLOW, IT’S MORE CLOGGED THAN THE TOILET AT EL TORITO
HEY OBAMA, STOP TOUCHING THE CROWD, YOU ARE NOT LL COOL J
THE ESTATE OF THE UNION ESTA CHINGADA
IT IS OUR YENERATION’S TASK TO IGNITE DORNER’S CABIN
FREE ENTERPRISE ISN’T FOR FREELOADERS