[Especial guest artist POCHO’s Chicano Punk Rock Artesano Junco Canché.]
These lip readers sure do a bad job!
Growing up on the mean streets of East Los Angeles, I, like many of my childhood friends, feared the police more than the local gang, Big Hazard. Specifically, we dreaded Latino police officers, since they had a reputation of being more brutal than their white peers with us — poor Chicano kids from the projects.
By verbally and physically harassing us, the Latino officers reinforced their 100 percent loyalty to their white peers and police department. Similarly, just like in my old barrio, in the Republican presidential-nomination battle, we can clearly see how the two Latino candidates, Sens. Marco Rubio (Florida) and Ted Cruz (Texas), go the extra mile to demonstrate their loyalty to their white peers and mostly white electorate with their anti-Latino immigrant agenda.
Donald Trump’s and Bernie Sanders’ stunning victories Tuesday don’t make sense unless you know the hidden history of the state of New Hampshire.
That’s the reason we researched and compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire:
8. New HAMpshire is known for its “HAM aroma” which inspired the hit song My Sharona
7. Coincidence or conspiracy? The ham-smelling state’s namesake [old] Hampshire, on England’s southern coast across the channel from France, smells like CHEESE
6. New Hampshire is very white. How white is it? New Hampshire is so white it makes the OSCARS look like a #BlackLivesMatter rally
While Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) was telling the crowd “To God be the Glory” [In Arabic, this is “Allahu Akbar”] in his Des Moines, Iowa victory speech Monday night, PNS snagged an example of the tracts campaign aides were passing out to the crowd — tracts detailing the Christian Sharia Law we can expect under President Cruz.
The rest of the tract is here….
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
It’s not a good sign when you have to ask the crowd to “Please clap,” like former Governor Jeb Bush (R-Florida) at a New Hampshire campaign rally Tuesday.
JEB! may not yet be prepared to admit he’s already lost, but we are, Fat Lady or not. Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell It’s All Over for Jeb Bush:
8. Briefly lost consciousness after choking on a pretzel
7. Hired New Orleans/Katrina FEMA guy “Brownie” as replacement campaign manager
6. Spotted holding hands with Saudi royalty
What can we learn from the Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) victory Monday in the Iowa GOP caucuses? It’s time to support CANADIANS FOR PRESIDENT! [NSFW video, one F-bomb.]
And what else? How about the Pocho Ocho Top Lessons We Learned from the Iowa GOP Caucuses:
8. He who smelt it, dealt it.
7. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry caucus.
6. I know you are, but what am I?
All: Bub-bub-bubble, GOP-GOP-goppies!
Boys: Bubble, bubble, bubble!
Girls: Goppy, Goppy, goppies!
Pulled over by the NYPD, a New York driver calls the officer “bro,” but the cop is all like, “Don’t call me bro.”
Bacon is makin’ news because a questionably-reported study says the hot and salty candy can cause cancer – or not. They say we had to ditch the bacon, but we said, “No! No! No!”
That’s because there are Pocho Ocho Top Things You Can Eat That Are Way Worse Than Bacon:
8. Bush™ special frijoles — THE BROWN ONES™ — now with 25% more nepotism! [Editor’s Note: Our sources tell us this product may not be on the market much longer. Choose wisely.]
7. Uncle Ben Carson’s Tacos de Seso
6. Ferguson’s Gelato – You’ll be screaming, “Hands up! Don’t scoop!”
Senator Ted Cruz, the Texas Republican and GOP nominee wannabe, released this video Wednesday to promote his new autobiography A Time for Truth. Campaign officials describe the video as “musical Cliff Notes — an easy way for him to say what makes Ted Cruz roll that way.”
They’ve got some big problemas down in Texas — Senator Ted Cruz (R-PENDEJO), killer floods, and the reappearance of loser Governor Rick Perry as a presidential nominee wanabee. Thank God for national treasure Willie Nelson, seen here enjoying a serenade by Toby Keith and Scott Emerik. It’s a mournful lament called I’ll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again.