American Census Shocker! Minority babies invading U.S. from Vagistan

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Census figures indicate that minorities make up over half the births of babies in the United States for the first time since the Pilgrims reluctantly started having sex.

These new minority babies will be able to outvote white babies in local and national baby elections, and this has white baby proponents terrified.

White mothers all over the U.S. have been reporting the births of unexplainable brown babies.

“It’s like there a brown horde erupting from inside us,” reported one hysterical white mother, Mrs. while being eyed by her suspicious white husband. Their nearby sexy gardener Julio Ramirez had no comment.

Anti-ethnic baby activists from The American Immigration Control Institute are also showing concern. Chairman Ray Cystermann advocates for some sort of “intrauterine borderwall” to prevent these babies from invading American maternity wards. We need to stop this dangerous invasion from Vagistan.”

“And what’s gonna happen to the Gerber baby? Do we have to put a big Mexican mustache on him now? Or do we have to slant up his eyes? Where does this brown baby terror end?” said a clearly disturbed Cystermann.

Members of the Baby Industrial Complex are also wondering what the new shift in demographics will mean to them.

Pampers spokesperson Emily Zapeta:

We are developing new products, like Sarape Pampers, and Pampers in very colorful African prints as seen on dashikis. We are also developing a new extra padded diaper for Mexican parents who like to change their babies diapers on the back of an open pickup truck gate.

Fingers are pointing to many culprits of the increasing ethnic baby boom, from the existence of Octomom, the popularity of Shakira’s sexy music, to the alleged tubal ligation of Bristol Palin. Activist Cystermann added, “Bristol needs to untie her tubes in order to save the white baby race.”

Hospital nursery photo by Herkle. Muppets photo by Ursala Erdbeer.

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