(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Attorneys for typographical characters including enya (Ñ), the inverted exclamation mark (¡) and the inverted question mark (¿) accused major computer keyboard makers of deliberately ignoring their clients’ needs in a relentless race for profits in a class action suit filed here today.
“It’s a case of acquisitiveness over accents,” visibly-angry lead attorney Cuauhtémoc Basta-Piñata (photo, above) told reporters as he emerged from the court clerk’s office. “The key cap cartels make us jump through hoops just to get ourselves equal time in the public eye, all to save a few pennies on costs.”
Basta-Piñata represents the Front for Acceptance of Character Equality (FACE). Plaintiffs in the suit also include transgender characters like И and Я as well as bi-textual characters like Ǽ and Œ.
They group is seeking $100 million in damages plus mandatory “diversity-positive” keyboard design changes.
“Look at the crap we have to go through just to get in a freakin’ Facebook status update,” said the attorney as he passed out a chart illustrating Windows key combinations. “I’//\ m@d aS |-|311 /\n|> ¡’M |\|0+ g0Nn@ +@k3 !+ ^nyM07e!”
“What’s the BFD about sticking a few extra keys on the keyboard just so I can spell piñata for example? And I’m not just saying it because it’s my name!”
Iowa Rep. Steve King (R), leading GOP “English only” advocate, was quick to respond:
I don’t know anything about keyboards. Typing is a woman’s job.
The secretive Keyboard Group (KBG), one of the defendants, faxed PNS their response:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Maecenas porttitor congue massa. Fusce posuere, magna sed pulvinar ultricies, purus lectus malesuada libero, sit amet commodo magna eros quis urna. Nunc viverra imperdiet enim. Fusce est. Vivamus a tellus. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Proin pharetra nonummy pede. Mauris et orci.
Other defendants in the suit include A4Tech, Adesso, Alps, APEVIA, ATOP Technology, BTC, Bytecc, Chassis Plans, Cherry, Chester Creek Technologies, Chicony Electronics, Corsair Memory, Creative, DCT Factory, Inc., Enermax, Farassoo, Filco, Frisby, Fujitsu – Siemens, Gear Head, Genius, Gigabyte Technology, HIPER, HAVIT, Hama Photo, Iball, Intex, Ideazon, IOGEAR, Kensington Computer Products Group, Key Tronic, KeyScan, Labtec, Linkworld Electronics, Lite-On, Logisys Computer, Logitech, Macally (Mace Group), Metadot Corporation (Das Keyboard), Micro Innovations, Microsoft, Mitsumi, Nan Tan Computer or NTC, NMEDIAPC, OCZ Technology, Power Logic, Qumax, Razer, Rosewill, Saitek, Samsung, Sharkoon, SolidTek, Spec Research, SteelSeries, Syba, Targus, Thermaltake, Topre, Trust, TVS Electronics, Unicomp, Wolfking, Xitrix Computer Corporation and zebronics.
— Elise Roedenbeck, reporting from New York City, contributed to this report.