Speaking Spanish gets you a free pizza – and Pocho Ocho other things

The Pizza Patron chain has ignited a nationwide controversy with its offer of free pepperoni pies on June 5 if you order en Español.

What else you can get for speaking Spanish?

8. In Arizona, you get pulled over, disrespected and hassled.

7. In Miami, you get nothing, stupid. That’s how you’re supposed to talk.

6. In New York, you get to speak a secret language that everyone else understands.

5. In an Argentinian restaurant, you won’t get spit in your food (unless you’re an imperialist.)

4. In your own home, you get teased by your abuela for your gringo accent.

3. In Italy, you almost get understood.

2. In the library, you get shushed for talking.

And the numero uno thing you get for speaking Spanish is…

In the 7-11, you get accused of stealing.

Elise Roedenbeck has discussed her abuela before…