Despite his adamant refusal to bribe us for coverage, we still want to present Pocho Ocho reasons he should win a pinche Pulitzer:
8. The use of the inverted exclamation point in ¡Ask A Mexican! has forced gabachos across America to learn special key combinations to send him hateful email.
7. Consistently employing “SantAna” when referring to the Orange County City of Santa Ana has moved Carlos Santana out of the old-age home and into a long-term gig at the House of Blues on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip.