Miami Latina running for Congress took a trip on a UFO (video)

Three tall, blonde-haired space aliens kidnapped her and took her for a ride in their UFO, which was controlled by quartz rocks, she said. Now Republican entrepreneur Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera (pictured with non-alien tall blonde — we think) is seeking the GOP nomination for Florida’s 27th Congressional District.

The NY Post has some deets:

Mas…Miami Latina running for Congress took a trip on a UFO (video)

Latinos boo Senator ‘Little’ Marco Rubio at Orlando fiesta (audio, video)

rubiobooIf was not a fun fiesta for Senator Marco Rubio (R-FLA) Sunday when Orlando festival goers greeted his appearance with a chorus of yells, jeers and boos.

NPR reports:

Florida Sen. Marco Rubio got booed off a stage in Orlando on Sunday, by a crowd that was overwhelmingly Latino.

It happened at Calle Orange, a street festival in downtown Orlando geared toward the city’s large Puerto Rican community. The icy reception was an indication of the challenges that Rubio, a Republican of Cuban heritage, has faced in locking down support from Latinos in Florida as the state’s Latino electorate has begun to shift to the left….

“I’m going to introduce a man who represents Latinos, no matter where you’re from,” the emcee boomed in Spanish. The boos grew louder still. “Ladies and gentlemen, the senator for the state of Florida, a Latino like you and me … his name is Marco Rubio! Applaud!”

We’ve got video and audio:

Mas…Latinos boo Senator ‘Little’ Marco Rubio at Orlando fiesta (audio, video)

Orale! It’s the Yeb Bush Cinco de Drinko Game (video)

yebbushMany politically conscious Chicanos are looking for yet another alternative way to Celebrate Cinco de Drinko but still protest the ahistorical consumer appropriation of a battle that is meaningless to most Mexicans.

Well, Jeb Bush (aka el Yeb according to his Mexican compadres) has provided us with a warm video message of solidarity this Fifth of May to honor the “honorable” way that the Mexicans fought against foreign invaders in the Battle of Puebla. Did I mention that the message is all in Spanish?

Mas…Orale! It’s the Yeb Bush Cinco de Drinko Game (video)

Miami Melanie seeks taco-eating bearded Joseph she met @ Bodega

craigslist-logoCL south florida >miami / dade >personals >missed connections
W4M

Joseph with a Beard- met on dancefloor of Bodega - w4m (south beach)

Joseph---

We met this past Saturday night on the dance floor of Bodega. You had just gone in for tacos with your friend who was visiting (HE WAS SO TIRED).

Though you and I just started being silly and theatrical with our dancing-- and we really connected.

Mas...Miami Melanie seeks taco-eating bearded Joseph she met @ Bodega

Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba

Mas…Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)

garcia-pick(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) A close look at a recent C-SPAN video reveals that Florida Democratic Congressman Joe Garcia, Jr. picked his ear wax and ate it on live TV, a Cuban folkloric ritual rarely seen outside Miami’s Cuban-American community.

La Ceremonia de la Cera del Oído can be traced to a curandero who lived in Guantanamera, Cuba around 1750 or so,” University of Miami Professor of Anthropology Freso “Biff” del Blanco told PNS.

“By eating the ear wax in public, the eater hopes to symbolically ingest and consume all that he is hearing through his ears, to better understand the cacophony of voices in his head.”

Mas…Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)

Even George Zimmerman can’t believe what an asshole he is

zimmermanbjustedsquare(PNS reporting from CENTRAL FLORIDA) Even George Zimmerman  cannot believe what a total stupid asshole he is.

“Can you believe this guy? And by ‘this guy’, I mean ME. I keep getting pulled over for speeding, once I even had a gun in the glove compartment of my car! Me! A nationally hated guy, only famous for being a trigger happy dumbass who racially profiled and then killed a black child, is driving around the country over the speed limit, with a fucking gun! What balls I got on me! They must be made of brass! Let me check,” he said in an exclusive interview with PNS.

The 29-year-old self-styled Neighborhood Watch vigilante was detained this morning by police in Lake Mary, FLA after his estranged wife called 911 saying he had a gun and she was afraid for her life.

Mas…Even George Zimmerman can’t believe what an asshole he is