Don’t let the door hit you in the nalgas, Rex Tillerson! (toon)

Lest we forget: Just because Trump fired and insulted them … doesn’t mean they’re not still corrupt, money-grubbing assholes who were unqualified for their positions in the first place. Now that they’re out of the administration, they’ll just go back to sucking out the marrow of the everyman in the corporate world and making billions off of Trump policies.

Pocho Ocho top reasons Sheriff Joe Arpaio is endorsing Donald Trump

sheriffjoetrumpArizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio — racist, birther, and pendejo — is set to endorse racist, birther, and pendejo Donald Trump in the Iowa GOP caucuses, according to The New York Times.

Our Especial Correspondents have been on the phone with sources in Arizona, Iowa and New York probing the thinking behind this decision and we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Sheriff Joe Arpaio Will Endorse Donald Trump:

8. Pigs of a feather oink together

7. New York values

6. Spawned in the U.S.A.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons Sheriff Joe Arpaio is endorsing Donald Trump

Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story

rickperryhorseWhen news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?

We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.

POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE:

Mas…Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story