Yuppie Chicana

This is my new motto: ‘WWND? What would nana do?’

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nanaWhile advances in technology make some areas of our lives easier, good old-fashioned child rearing has become more complicated.

In our grandparent’s day, it was a simpler time. They didn’t have the luxury of worrying about play dates and preschool applications.

I have a motto that has become a guiding principle for applying “old school” methods to present day parenting.

What would nana do?

I’m barely awake, preparing breakfast while holding the baby, trying to sip on day old coffee when my toddler asks me to cut her bread into shapes.

WWND? In nana’s day, a square slice was the only shape you were going to get.

It’s 4:30 pm, the witching hour. Despite the baby screaming all day, I’ve proudly set the table and prepared a healthy dinner. My toddler takes one look at her plate and breaks down in tears because she wants ice cream for dinner.

Mas…This is my new motto: ‘WWND? What would nana do?’

How gringas, gringos, gabachas y gabachos can pass as poch@s

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olmosmemeIf there’s one thing I’m pretty experienced at, it’s navigating between Gringolandia and Mi Raza.

“Osea,” being pocho.

As the racial landscape of our country darkens, for the better, and Latinos become the majority, proving your pocho-ness will become a valuable skill for all gringos, whether Trump likes it or not.

Follow these three simple steps next time you need to pass as pocho.

Studies have shown the more pocho you are, the easier it is to get into law school, get that promotion or land that Hollywood role of a lifetime.

Mas…How gringas, gringos, gabachas y gabachos can pass as poch@s

Por los que no se rajan — for those that don’t crack

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womanwithbaby(Antigua, Guatemala — December 2000) I glanced up from my plate of rice, beans and perfectly grilled chicken breast. I was nauseous and weak from days of vomiting. Third-world cuisine always leaves me thinner than when I arrive.

In hindsight, I’m not sure if it was the beautiful colors in the woman’s “huipil” or if it was the look of angst on her face that caught my eye. As I gazed out the window of the restaurant I sat in, all I could think about was my own discomfort and what my friends back in the U.S. were doing.

While I contemplated these trivial matters, my father jumped up from his chair. I watched as he grabbed my uneaten plate, bolted out the front door of the restaurant and caught up to the woman I had seen walk by.

Mas…Por los que no se rajan — for those that don’t crack

Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?

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As a small girl, I refused to speak Spanish with my mother.

She was born in Sonora, MX and grew up speaking nothing but Spanish so this must have frustrated her. Now, I think, wouldn’t it have been easier to just learn the language while I was small?

Thankfully, I finally realized the value of being bilingual in my teen years and made a commitment to become fluent in Spanish during high school.

I watched only Spanish TV and every summer my mom would drop me off in Hermosillo to be immersed in the culture and spend time with my cousins. It was a lot of fun, and it worked.

Now that I am a mom, I think I might have figured out why I refused my mother’s native language for so long. Just the other day, my daughter acted out in public over the absence of her sippy cup and the first words that came flowing out of my mouth were, “Mi hijita, no me grites. Espérate por favor.”

The situation caught my attention when everyone around us stopped what they were doing and looked at us, confused. That’s when I realized I raise my daughter in English but I discipline her in Spanish.

Mas…Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?

Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana: I talk with my hands and I love flan

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I recently read the hilariously snarky book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler, and all those confessions from real moms has inspired me to do the same.

I confess:

  • I only get “Latina” when I’m drunk or angry and it’s not pretty.
  • My drink of choice is tequila, not the Skinny Girl stuff but real Patron Silver.
  • Sometimes I Google anger management groups in my area but then I get so pissed off with our slow Internet connection that I forget all about my anger.
  • When I catch a cold I literally sweat it out by dancing to Ricky Martin in my living room.
  • I don’t know if I want any more kids. I can’t afford to go up another bra size.

    Mas…Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana: I talk with my hands and I love flan

Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?

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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.

The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.

And now everybody wants those papers.

After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.

Mas…Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?