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In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters
(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.
The Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.
Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.
Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.
But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.
Mas…In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters
Ronald Reagan to Mex Prez on Cinco de Mayo: ‘Mi casa es su casa’
QUESTION: Why are Mexican rapists and drug dealers streaming North to enter the US of A illegally?
ANSWER: They were invited by “The Great Communicator.”
Check out this video about the 1988 Cinco de Mayo ceremony at the White House when Republican President Ronald Reagan told Mexican President Miguel de la Madrid Hurtado, “Mi casa es su casa.”
Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)
(PNS reporting from URRIALBA) Randy and Candy Wiggins (photo) plunged to their deaths Tuesday afternoon when the couple’s parachute failed to deploy during a skydive that was intended to reveal the gender of their child to be.
The Billings, Montana couple traveled to Costa Rica this week to leap from 12,000 feet above this rural mountain town in hopes of performing “the most epic gender reveal EVER,” Candy wrote on her Facebook page hours before the accident.
Mas…Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)
Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Mexico is throwing in the towel — and picking up a broom — after Club America’s humiliating defeat to Toronto FC in the CONCACAF Champions League semi-final Tuesday night. The loss signaled the death of the country’s storied soccer tradition.
After the 4-2 aggregate defeat, club officials for the Mexico City-based team said the result left little choice but to seek other options for a new national sport.
Mas…Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss
Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) NAFTA negotiations between the U.S., Canada and Mexico will likely only conclude when mankind ceases to exist or if extraterrestrial raids breed unity among humans that leads to the dissolution of international borders, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the trilateral talks.
