7. Quaker Oats Quaker: Another white male, but this man’s religious values and the fact that he stands for America, makes him attractive to the Romney camp. It’s the right thing to do.
6. Uncle Ben: Fight fire with fire! Mexican Mitt says the best way to displace the first African-American president is to bring along a black chef! Isaac Hayes was not available.
5. Rosarita: From Rosarita beans. This pick would be crucial to the Latino voting bloc — Mexicans like beans, right? And the Latinas! Orale! N.B.: Matching sombreros are always popular!
4. Aunt Jemima: This pick would add an entirely different factor to the race — who can say no to pancakes?
3. Chester, the Flaming Cheetos tiger: With Flaming Hot Cheetos on his side, Mexican Mitt is sure he can take the White House in 2012.
2. Tia Rosa: From the tortilla packs. Mexican Mitt is sure to wrap up the nomination with her on his side.
And the numero uno pick for VP for Mexican Mitt Romney is…
The Tapatio guy, because not only is he accustomed to overly ethnic clothing, but he’s got blue eyes, so it’s almost like he’s not even really a minority.
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