A Mississippi state lawmaker introduced legislation Tuesday that would rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.”
According to state Rep. Stephen Holland’s bill, the name would apply only to his home state, much to the relief of embarrassed neighboring states.
Ironically, Holland chose to rename this international body of water “Gulf of America,” not understanding that “America” is the name of the whole American hemisphere, mainly because the word “hemisphere” is twice as long as most words the average Mississippian legslator understands.
Holland, who besides being a full-time legislator, is a farmer and funeral home director. He is also preparing a raft of bills, all aimed to rename things that remind Holland and his supporters of anything remotely Mexican. Holland boasts that he “will pass legislation to rename Taco Bell as “Liberty Bell.”
Here’s a list of additional upcoming legislation from Holland:
- Mexican food will be renamed “Freedom Food”
- Mexico will change its name to “South America”
- Actress Eva Longoria will be renamed “Tilda Swinton”
- The not-neighboring state of New Mexico will be known as “New America”
- Canada will be now be known as “North America”
Holland is also pushing legislation to force himself to change his last name from “Holland” to “America.” Holland-America Cruise Lines could not be reached for comment.