Pocho Ocho reasons the Oscars sucked

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8. The French pooch got more air time then all Latinos.

7. They made Sheila E play timbales in the balcony.

6. Meryl Streep has been nominated more than all the Latinos since the Aztecs.

5. The Spanglish animated feature Puss in Boots got pimp-slapped by a Johnny Depp cartoon lizard.

4. The Academy voters are exclusively white males who look like Glenn Close.

3. Couldn’t even get hired as chair-fillers when the stars went to the Toledo.

2. Most winners as old as Billy Crystal’s jokes.

And the numero uno reason the Oscars sucked is …

Demián Bichir’s limo had to pick him up in front of a Home Depot.

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