colonel sanders

Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

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It was an ordinary day in an ordinary Mexican convenience store and recorded in grainy black and white by an ordinary surveillance video camera. And then the masked luchador entered – with a posse of ostriches.

This POCHO ñewsweek featured the Florida burritos with offensive names, chicken culture war hawk Col. Sanders’s statement on gay marriage and a chance for you to join Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’s personal campaign to help the survivors of the Anaheim police department’s trigger-happy cops. Here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) Legendary chicken mogul Col. Harlan Sanders is a hawk in the chicken culture wars and he’s not afraid to let the whole clucking chicken world know it.

The white-haired international icon and Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food magnate today issued this statement:

I completely respect the Chick-Fil-A chicken restaurant business built by CEO Dan Cathy, and the Christian principles you espouse are fine as wine, but come on, give it a Goddamn rest. Are you selling chicken or your dumb-ass views? This guy is as full of wind as a corn-eating horse.

I personally don’t give a good Goddamn what the homos do in the privacy of their nicely-decorated bedrooms. Hell, they can do it in the bathroom of the KFC, I don’t give a June Bug’s nut sack! I just want their money. Do I hate gay marriage? Who gives a duck’s ass?! Buy some of my chicken. Come in with your flamin’ gay self and order a bucket of Original, Crispy, or BBQ. Hell, I might even come up with a new flavor, “Extra Gay”!

Mas…Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?