Three tall, blonde-haired space aliens kidnapped her and took her for a ride in their UFO, which was controlled by quartz rocks, she said. Now Republican entrepreneur Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera (pictured with non-alien tall blonde — we think) is seeking the GOP nomination for Florida’s 27th Congressional District.
We got this video from the new dude in the White House — The Mooch. He’s a communicatin’ kinda guy.
Democrat Hillary Clinton is already making history. And come November, she could achieve another milestone: Becoming America’s first Madam President. Yet behind the groundbreaking nature of her candidacy lies an absence of women in elected office. The U.S. lags behind the rest of the world in female representation at the national level,
Speaking to the House of Representatives on Tuesday, Rep. Luis V. Gutierrez (D-IL) condemned the ignorant governors who have vowed to turn away refugees fleeing violence and seeking freedom in the U.S. Freedom, Gutierrez noted, is exactly what our country stands for.
PREVIOUSLY ON CONGRESSMAN GUTIERREZ:
Representative Luis V. Gutierrez (D-ILL), who fights for the American dream as a Member of Congress representing Chicago, thinks we’ve got
- A Pope, Francis, and an
- Anti-Pope, the Donald.
He explained it all on the floor of the House of Representatives, using popular movie tropes and big photographs:
In a speech to Indian American Democrats, she whooped up an “American Indian war cry.”
She was confused, she told a group of Indian American at a party convention in Anaheim, about an upcoming meeting with an Indian American.
“I am going to his office,” she said, “thinking that I am going to meet with a” — then she put her hand over mouth and made the noise that is the stereotypical imitation of a American Indian war cry. “Right? … because he said Indian American.”
We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:
8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans
7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”
6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba
Here are their Pocho Ocho top policy priorities:
8. No tax cut left behind
7. Read my lips: No new Mexis
6. All about the race
Last week’s vote to approve the controversial Keystone XL pipeline by the Republican-controlled United States House of Representatives constitutes an “act of war” and a “death warrant,” according to the South Dakota Rosebud Sioux (Lakota) Nation, Lakota Voice Rez News reported Friday.
Tribal President Cyril L. Scott rebuked the House, according to Rez News:
The House has now signed our death warrants and the death warrants of our children and grandchildren. The Rosebud Sioux Tribe will not allow this pipeline through our lands. We are outraged at the lack of intergovernmental cooperation. We are a sovereign nation and we are not being treated as such. We will close our reservation borders to Keystone XL. Authorizing Keystone XL is an act of war against our people.
Speaker of the House John Boehner has the sad now that his GOP bromantic buddy Majority Leader Eric Cantor is stepping down. What’s that? Water gushing from Boehner’s ojos? Elise Roedenbeck’s musical dramatization is called Tear Drops for Eric Cantor.
Last week, the Republican-uncontrolled House of Representatives failed to pass a minimal spending bill to help with the unexpected crush of Central American refugees, adjourned, and then reconvened to approve a mean-spirited barebones measure that also would reverse President Obama’s DACA relief for DREAMers, and worse. Then they adjourned again.
Of course, the bill has no chance of passage in the Senate, let alone getting a Presidential signature.
Their obstructionist mission accomplished, the do-nothing pendejos left town for their summer hideouts in the rich white safety of their home districts.
Their Tea Party-twisted debates, however, left a lingering aroma over Capitol Hill, and it wasn’t Laspang Souchong.
SPOILER ALERT: The aroma was SHIT.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) A close look at a recent C-SPAN video reveals that Florida Democratic Congressman Joe Garcia, Jr. picked his ear wax and ate it on live TV, a Cuban folkloric ritual rarely seen outside Miami’s Cuban-American community.
“La Ceremonia de la Cera del Oído can be traced to a curandero who lived in Guantanamera, Cuba around 1750 or so,” University of Miami Professor of Anthropology Freso “Biff” del Blanco told PNS.
“By eating the ear wax in public, the eater hopes to symbolically ingest and consume all that he is hearing through his ears, to better understand the cacophony of voices in his head.”
National Poetry Month means — to us — poems by and for the people, like Jesús Iñiguez with his poem about immigration. Spoiler alert — Iñiguez is not exactly happy with Administration policies and questions President Obama’s legacy. [NSFW “F-bomb.”]
More from the Obama Legacy blog: