The best! Classy! Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Poop Bags

bigtrumpbagtrumppooplogoPeople, let me tell you — and I’m being honest here — these dog poop bags are absolutely the best dog poop bags. We used to be number one in dog poop bags. But not anymore, folks.

There has been a terrible schlonging in the poop bag market. And you know Hillary’s not going to fix it. But I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. I’m very rich and I’m very attracted to my daughter. I mean, just look at those legs.

Mas…The best! Classy! Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Poop Bags

By @buttronica: I ramble and maybe I’m too dark at times, but damn!

poniesEconomists say once a person has been unemployed for six months it is highly unlikely they will reenter the workforce.

It’s been a year since I was fired from my job and I feel like a BIG GIANT LOSER.

It wasn’t anything I did in particular. I thought for sure that one time I asked Floyd Mayweather if “he likes to take his work home with him” would do me in, alas, it was far more uneventful.

“We’ve decided not to renew your contract.”

“Um, OK.”

And it’s not like I’m totally unemployed. I regularly walk a dog named Jimmy Fallon — this causes great confusion when I nonchalantly say, “Jimmy Fallon growled at me today,” (though for the most part he is quite lovely, other than eating his own poop).

Mas…By @buttronica: I ramble and maybe I’m too dark at times, but damn!