Mexico to build Cancun wall to keep out ‘Spring Breakers’

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Mexico’s senate approved a bill yesterday to build a wall around the tourist mecca of Cancun to discourage the flood of vacuous drunken junior college troglodytes that descend upon the city’s pristine beaches every “Spring Break.”

“When America sends its people, they’re not sending their best…Stop me if you’ve heard this before,” Senator Enrique LaRaza said in his speech prior to the approval vote.

“They’re sending people with Chinese symbol tattoos, and they’re getting even more regrettable tattoos here. They’re bringing spray tans. Bleach tips. They’re bringing two years of obligatory foreign language Spanish. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, go to four-year universities.”

Mas…Mexico to build Cancun wall to keep out ‘Spring Breakers’

Pocho Ocho reasons gringos are scared to go to Mexico for gas

While some gas-hungry Americans — gasbacks — are sneaking South of the Border to take advantage of lower fuel prices, others aren’t so sure. Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons gabachos don’t wanna go there:

8. They don’t want to get tucked and rolled.

7. Last time down there, a lengua burrito licked them back.

6. Mexican gas is stronger (Insert your own joke here.)

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons gringos are scared to go to Mexico for gas