A Compton homie fell down and went boom, so he called 911 for a medical assistance. The conversation didn’t go as planned. [NSFW language.]
A homeboy in Compton fell and got an ouchie, so he called 911 for an ambulance. The conversation didn’t go as planned. [NSFW language.]
I was living in Massachusetts for the first time. Adjusting. The first time I saw snow falling past my Somerville apartment window, I told a woman on the phone that a neighbor was on the roof shaking out a pillow. Not many snowstorms in my desertified homeland. The first time I saw ice on the sidewalk, I thought a prankster had smeared Vaseline on the bricks to watch businessmen fall down.
This old world was all new to me. I was manhandled by quotidian revelations, wrenched by the duende of Yankee cultural hoodoo. So when I realized I could walk over to Porter Square (where the porterhouse steak was first hacked out of some Bostonian cow) and catch a commuter train to Concord, to Walden freakin’ Pond, I was off and running.
Working out is hard to do, as Hey Vato! homie Chuy pumps iron and homie Smiley ponders irony in a backyard in the barrio. (NSFW language.)
- Every Hey Vato! video here: Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets.
Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to grips with the fact that he watches telenovelas for the boobs, not to learn Spanish like he originally told himself.
And in San Diego, a multimillionaire commissioned a billboard to get himself a new girlfriend for Christmas — a “Christmas Latina.” Our Especial Correspondents uncovered some earlier versions of the billboard, and an intrepid photographer snapped the final version of the message.
Here are the links to the top stories that broke the ñews: