* An interview with the University of Oxford butt fat researcher [Updated 7:45 PM PDT Nov. 2, 2013.]
(PNS reporting from ENGLAND) Scientists at the University of Oxford have uncovered evidence that women with big butts are not only the most intelligent, but also the most resistant to chronic illnesses.
The study examined the fat accumulated in different parts of a woman’s body, and found that women with a phat ass were less likely to get diabetes, since they are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar.
What’s more, women with big booties tended to have lower levels of cholesterol and fewer heart problems, according to the study.
We translated the Fafhoo Noticas report:
Women with a big butt, wide hips and a narrow waist can live longer, and even be more intelligent, since the Omega 3 fats stored in their butts support brain development.
It takes an ace newsman like Stephen Colbert to get to the bottom of the barrel of reasons why the Heritage Foundation’s report on immigration says legalization will cost us six trillion dollars and the entire Hispanic race has lower IQs than native white Americans.
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a groundbreaking study just released by Atlanta’s Center for Brain Development Place, scientists have found that the more racist an individual is the less likely he or she is to comprehend satire.
In the controversial study, published in Totally Not Made Up Magazine last week, participants were asked to read an article titled “Monkey escapes from zoo, spreads poop and socialism” and then asked to comment.
Scientists found that those who believed the monkey should be taught to uphold democracy and abstain from sex before marriage but without the use of taxpayer money were 10 times more likely to be racists.
White supremacists are getting increasingly stupid. When I visited the Stormfront web page (screenshot above) I found it incorrectly displayed in all its “HTML View” glory, proclaiming a twisted worldview of “White Pride World Wide.”
I hope the portly Web Nazi who uploaded his masterpiece realizes that it actually highlights the supremacy of Black HTML Text over a White European background.
And how about the skinheaded dishonorable human discharge in Milwaukee who attacked a Sikh temple? He was so stupid he shot and murdered the peaceful Sikhs because they wore turbans.
Thank Aryan Jesus that our Blonde Lord decreed that his stupid-ass disciple Wade Michael Page was to die in a pool of his own inferior blood. At least those superior genes will not go on.
To weed out the growing idiocy in the White Supremacy movement, we’ve created a very helpful Aryan I.Q. Test that organizations full of morons like the Aryan Nations, The National Association for the Advancement of White People, the Arizona Hammerskins and the Nazi Low Riders can use to cull their members before they do even more stupid crap.