Goldie Han Solo, 4, eulogized at tearful funeral: ‘She always smiled’

(PNS reporting from PALOS VERDES, CA) Beloved aquatic family member Goldie Han Solo was remembered for her cheerful demeanor and active lifestyle at a tearful funeral ceremony in the Solo family’s back yard here Tuesday.

Goldie, believed to be four years old (photo), apparently died of asphyxiation and/or dehydration after she leaped from her fishbowl Monday night around 11:37 PM. That’s when a small earthquake (3.5 Richter) shook this suburban Los Angeles community, according to the U.S. Geological Service.

Her teeny, shiny body was discovered on the floor of Reyna Solo’s bedroom at 7 AM Tuesday by family member Gilda Solis-Chihuahua Solo, who awakened 8-year-old Reyna with loud whimpering and assertive licking. Reyna and Gilda, a Canine-American, had both slept through the temblor; Goldie, not so much.

Reyna attempted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation but Goldie was already stiff and dry, swimming in that fish pond in the sky.

Mas…Goldie Han Solo, 4, eulogized at tearful funeral: ‘She always smiled’

Obituary: Farewell to ‘La Chuy’

laloandmomMy mom, María de Jesús Alcaraz de López (or “Chuy,” as most of the Alcaraz family called her) was born in 1929 in Villa Union, Mexico, in the fertile Sinaloa land outside of Mazatlán.

She grew up as the youngest sister of five: Maria Luisa, Cany, Juanita and Esther. Their father, Inocencio, a ranchero, died young and left his widow Cirila and the five girls to farm their land.

My mom once described her father as having blue eyes and an extremely bald head. She told me about how he once had severely whipped a man who had injured her with his horse. Oh, the idyllic ranchero lifestyle….

Mas…Obituary: Farewell to ‘La Chuy’

Around Our Town: Ñews from your neighbors

WEDDING: Mr. and Mrs. Julio Santiago of Pocho Estates are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Suzanne to Samson Lei of Monterey Park, son of Mrs. Chin Louie of San Francisco and Mr. Stagger Lei of New Orleans.  After a honeymoon in Hawaii, the couple will be moving far away from both sets of parents to live their own damn  lives free of drama, race-baiting, and a legacy of never-ending bullshit from control freaks.

Mas…Around Our Town: Ñews from your neighbors