Pocho Ocho other things banned in Houston beside piñatas

In the suburbs of Houston – Harris County, TX – officials are reviewing a controversial policy that prohibits piñatas in certain county parks after Tony Diaz of Librotraficantes questioned the rule and signs that singled out piñatas:

It’s mind-boggling. Why be so culturally specific? If you want to say ‘No littering,’ then say ‘No littering.’ But this is like saying, ‘No Mexicans.’

We had to ask: What are the Pocho Ocho other things that are banned in Houston aside from piñatas?

8. Eating tacos without a fork

7. Parking cars on blocks

6. Sleeping under a cactus

Mas…Pocho Ocho other things banned in Houston beside piñatas

Dear Abuelita: Cholo scars, snoring horrors, mota bars

Yo, Abeuelita, sup?
In my wayward youth I was a gangbanger and have the bullet wounds, knife scars and tats to prove it. But those days are over and I’m now a legally-employed husband and dad with two kids.

The shorties are getting big enough to where they will soon begin to ask me questions about these things and I don’t know what exactly to say. What did you tell your kids about your tattoos and bullet wounds (if you have any?)
Signed: X Loco 

Dear X Loco,
Thank your lucky estrella tattoos I didn’t know you as a gangbanger chavalon otherwise you’d have a lot more wounds to explain. Don’t worry, I’m not going to smack you across the coco with an Abuelita Reality Chancla for anything you’ve done in the past. It appears you’ve had your share of hard knocks as it is.

Kids aren’t stupid, eventually they will dig up some old MySpace page with photos of you and your homies showing off your bullet wounds and tattoos.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Cholo scars, snoring horrors, mota bars

Dear Abuelita: I howl like a dog in my sleep – could I be horny?

Dear Abuelita,
Early this morning while I was sleeping I thought my Jack-Chi dog Chacho was howling from his chair in the living room. (He enjoys the wing-backed chair with the mauve chenille cushion.) I called out for him to come to me. My roommate (my ex who is still legally my husband) came into my room and asked if I was OK. He told me I was the one who was howling, not Chacho! What is happening to me?
Howling into the Night

Dear Night Howler,
Aye, mija, it sounds like you’re in heat and it’s no wonder. You’ve got a dog who sleeps in a cushioned wing-backed chair and an ex (who is still legally your husband) living under your roof. The combined testosterone pollution is making you howl like a horny bitch. If you don’t do something soon you’re bound to start dragging your nalgas around on the carpet and resort to licking yourself in public.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: I howl like a dog in my sleep – could I be horny?