(ALBUQUERQUE, NM) The Feds have arrested a man who allegedly threatened to detonate a bomb-filled burrito (artist’s conception, right) in the FBI office here, a man who has claimed that he was personally the subject of government spying.
His shocking accusation?
Uncle Sam AKA Tio Sam implanted brain-tapping equipment in his cabeza.
Brian DeMarco, 50, a resident of the Super 8 Motel off of Coors Boulevard, revealed to authorities that the government “placed a tracking device inside his head” in addition to “beaming photons.”
If confirmed, his allegation would dovetail perfectly with a POCHO Mexclusive story about how the National Security Agency (NSA) has outsourced surveillance of Americans in border states to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA.)
Great Britain’s MI5 and MI6 are American partners in Europe. Israel’s Mossad and Shin Bet have the Mideast portfolio.
And in Latino communities in the United Estates, invading your privacy has been outsourced to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA).
Paranoid yet? Here are the Pocho Ways to tell if the Mexican Security Agency (MSA) is espying on you:
8. Neighborhood burros watch you suspiciously after you wake up from your cactus-shaded siesta.
7. Whenever you post that you ROFLMAO when you really only LOL, you get an anonymous text that says “En boca cerrada, no entran moscas.”
6. When Chivas fans do the “Mexican wave” on TV, they hold up big cards that spell out your email password.