Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell If Your New Neighbors Are Terrorists:
8. Since sunset on Sunday, they’ve been burning more and more candles every night and singing in a Middle Eastern language.
7. They instruct their children — even pre-K kids — in violent martial arts, regularly staging practice backyard executions where children swinging war sticks decapitate colorful paper effigies strung up for torture.
6. Suspiciously clean-cut young men in shirts and ties living in the house regularly head out on bikes for neighborhood surveillance, knock on doors to see who is home, and take copious notes after every encounter.