Breaking: Obama says U.S. will bomb Twerky

obamatwerkyyy(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Barack Obama has abruptly dismissed the possibility of launching a U.S. military action against Syria and opted for another world trouble spot.

“I am making preparations to bomb Twerky,” the President declared in a nationally-televised speech Friday afternoon. “It is clear that Syria has used banned chemical weapons against its own people, but I must be guided by what is in the best interests of the United States, and the actual clear and present danger to our nation is coming from Twerky.”

Mas…Breaking: Obama says U.S. will bomb Twerky

Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors

Cuban ballet dancers who recently defected from their troupe in Mexico and now live in Miami are “amazed at how many foods come canned and can be easily heated up in a microwave,” according to the Associated Press.

Canned foods! But wait, there’s mas. Here are the Pocho Ocho other things about the U.S. that also surprised our new island immigrants:

8. Studebaker, DeSoto, Willys and Nash are out of the automobile business

7. America’s most famous Cuban? Mark Cuban

6. Fidel is a sofa bed mogul and Che sells t-shirts

Mas…Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors