POCHO Asks America: How did you celebrate Cinco de Mayo?

by Especial Correspondents on May 6, 2014 in Cultura, Pocho Ñews Service


POCHO sent reporters to bars and parties, barbecues and parades all across the United Estates to find out how Americans were celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Here’s what they said:

  • CLYDE WORKMAN, DETROIT: I’m squeezing limes into my 40’s
  • TAD BROGET, PRINCETON: Naturally, one had one’s valet bring a snifter of proper reposado
  • PANAMA RED, DENVER: A dank day for primo Oaxacan, meng! [Coughs.]
  • KATRINA CERVANTES, BROOKLYN: Back off, perv boy!
  • HELENA GOMEZ, CHICAGO: The continued commodification and capitalistic exploitation of the indigenous experience by the bloody hands of white European imperialist oppressors is a further examp[head explodes.]
  • WERNHARDT “BETO” BUDWEISER, MILWAUKEE: Lime-A-Ritas, baby! Lime-A-Ritas!
  • MAGDALENA SALDANA, EL PASO: I’m cool as long as those armed white-boy militias keep their pinche marches on Mesa Street, on their own pinche side of town.
  • QUINOA MANDALA, SAN FRANCISCO: Ommmmmmmmmm. Ommmmmmmmmm.
  • REYNALDO “RUSTY” FILERO, EAST LOS ANGELES: Are you looking at me? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?
  • JULIO SALVATERRA, MIAMI: What? I’m Boricua!

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

 

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